18: Positive Change: Embracing Clear Inner Focus with Patty Jackson

Jessica Armstrong (00:00):

Welcome to The Good Enough Podcast, a podcast that takes you into a new realm by inviting you to reduce your daily hustle and celebrate yourself right here.

McKenzie Raymond (00:14):

Tune in as we dive deep into vulnerable topics and interview guests who deliver transformative moments to you, our community of individuals healing on a collective journey.

Jessica Armstrong (00:25):

We’ll open up to the art of embodied self-care, and even on the days that you feel like a self-sabotaging rebel …

McKenzie Raymond (00:32):

We’re here to remind you that in this realm, we are all good enough.

McKenzie Raymond (00:38):

The views expressed on this episode as with all episodes of The Good Enough Podcast are solely host and guest opinions.

Jessica Armstrong (00:45)

This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice and is for entertainment purposes only.

McKenzie Raymond (00:54):

Hey, Jessica, how’s it going?

Jessica Armstrong (00:56):

Hey, oh my gosh, I’m so happy to be here. How are you, McKenzie?

McKenzie Raymond (01:00):

I’m doing well. I’m also excited. I feel like this is a full circle moment on the podcast and with our guest today. Today, we have a really amazing episode for each of you listening, we are sitting down with the founder and owner of Clear Inner Focus Mindset Coaching.

McKenzie Raymond (01:22):

She wrote the curriculum that both Jessica and I were students to in the Life Coach Certification class, and she also really has a passion for inspiring individuals to shine their light and to hopefully in some way inspire others. So, it feels so fun to get to be with this incredible woman and to get to have this conversation with you too, Jessica, in kind of a coaching sense.

Jessica Armstrong (01:54):

We knew we wanted to have Patty on here because of just the immense amount of things that you and I have been able to get from taking the curriculum and coaching others with it. But really just what Patty embodies and that good enoughness is just her true belief that at any moment, no matter what, we are always good enough and we can meet ourselves right there.

Jessica Armstrong (02:24):

And we just loved it so much that we wanted to make sure that we were sharing that goodness with our audience. And we just know that you’re going to get some wonderful tools out of this conversation to help with self-coaching and to, for me, really leaving this conversation, I felt even more just aligned with myself and my enoughness. And so, we really wanted to share that with all of you.

McKenzie Raymond (02:51):

Yes, this episode will definitely provide you with some tips for self-coaching. That is something that no matter what, it’s something that I do every single day. And I think it’s really the most important part of this whole curriculum or a certification, is the implementation and the integration of these tools and really seeing how they have helped me navigate some of my most difficult times. So, we are super excited to share this with you. We hope you enjoy.

Jessica Armstrong (03:26):

Hi everybody, welcome to The Good Enough Podcast, we have another magical guest for you today, this one is very near and dear to our hearts. McKenzie, I want to say hi to you first and then please introduce our amazing guest.

McKenzie Raymond (03:42):

Hey Jessica, I am so thrilled to be here. Just before we hopped on, I was saying how it feels like such a full circle moment having coached you and then you going through Life Coach Certification and sitting here today with Patty Jackson, who is the founder and writer of the curriculum for Clear Inner Focus Life Coach Certification. And she’s also an author, she’s written two books. So, just so many things we’re going to dive into today. Hi Patty, how are you?

Patty Jackson (04:12):

Good. I am glad to be here.

McKenzie Raymond (04:14):

Good. Well, welcome to the show. I want to dive right in and just share a little bit about, obviously we are on the Good Enough Podcast and so much of my own journey with this idea has really come from your life coach curriculum and learning that I could define enough for myself was such a pivotal moment when I even heard that concept. I had no idea how, but it sounded great.

McKenzie Raymond (04:42):

And so, I would love to hear a little bit about your journey into feeling good enough and kind of with this concept and what inspired you to make it a part of your curriculum.

Patty Jackson (04:55):

I think I was born kind of a magical child in which I really felt good about myself and really felt like I was enough. And in high school, I just felt like I was on top of the world and everyone liked me and I didn’t understand that other things were people’s reality.

Patty Jackson (05:12):

And then when I started coaching, I could hear all of the beating up and the going and going and this isn’t good enough, this isn’t good enough. And then I became aware that it is true for me too. And so, it’s an inherent part of me and how I see the world and how I listen to other people. It is part of my gift and I guess it’s always been there for me.

Jessica Armstrong (05:38):

Yeah, you can definitely feel that too from you and from your curriculum. It’s very understanding of our inner world, of our inner voices, of the things that we pick up as we go through life and how to navigate those things. And there’s so much caring in that and what you do, and especially when we’re trying to accept ourselves in this enoughness, that can be really difficult when we don’t know how to do that.

Jessica Armstrong (06:16):

And I would love for you even to kind of go into some of those that we’ve been able to learn from you, but how do we navigate or how do we get to that point where we can even be in acceptance and be loving in our enoughness?

Patty Jackson (06:34):

I think it comes from being aware that everyone has gifts and just existing is a gift. I think more about where this all started and really my gift of who I’m here to be in the world was so clear to me. And that happened when I was in sixth grade.

Patty Jackson (06:49):

And my mom was a early childhood educator. She was an entrepreneur at that time. My dad left his company to work with her. What a unique thing back then in those days. And so, early childhood education was so important to her.

Patty Jackson (07:03):

And one of her kids, my next brother down, he’s four years younger than me, wasn’t making the bar at school. He was failing his classes. And I could see that as she was working with them, it meant that there was something inherently wrong with her if she’s the early childhood educator and one of her kids is not succeeding in school. And I saw the not good enough play out there in front of me in such a profound way that it hit me.

Patty Jackson (07:31):

And I was like, “Oh mom, can’t you see that you’re a great mom and can’t you see that my brother is such a gift and it’s not going to have anything to do with history, so just leave him alone a little bit. Be okay with you, be okay with you brother.” And then I was like, “I want to be that person.” I want to be the person that helps people understand that they’re a gift and they’re unique.

Patty Jackson (07:55):

And so, in order to do that for all of us, it comes from a profound knowing that you are a gift simply in being. And I think the curriculum in the coach certification helps people see that more and more. The passion, exercise that we do, really helps people understand that the things that we see in other people we have in us and other people are seeing in us, problem is we just can’t see ourselves unless you look in the mirror.

Patty Jackson (08:25):

And usually, when you look in the mirror, we’ve trained ourselves to look with a critical eye. So, all of it’s combating that normal human stuff we do and exercising that connection to our enoughness, our gifts and our unique spirit.

McKenzie Raymond (08:40):

What a gift that you had this awareness in sixth grade. I mean, that is really powerful. And to see what you’ve done with it now, what it’s really evolved into, and that you had such clarity at a young age to be able to say, “This is who I want to be in this situation.”

McKenzie Raymond (09:01):

And as you were explaining it, you were really describing being able to be in your own energy bubble, which is another thing that I’ve really learned being a coach and being able to see these other beings in their own energy and in their own power as well.

McKenzie Raymond (09:14):

And I think one of my favorite parts of the coaching curriculum and coaching, in general, is the self-coaching. And that life really never stops providing us with these incredible examples to practice. And when I can remember that when I am going through the tough things and remember that I really have equipped myself with these tools, it just feels so much more approachable and I know that no matter what I’m going to be okay.

McKenzie Raymond (09:47):

And I’ve got myself and yeah, really learning too, in those tough spots, Jessica, what you were talking about with acceptance. Like accepting, it’s not that I don’t want to not go through those tough things, it’s that I want to be able to learn and grow from them and to be able to love myself through it, to accept myself through it and to just meet myself right where I am, it’s been so freaking powerful.

Patty Jackson (10:18):

That’s my favorite thing is when students, 10, 20 years later … now I’ve been in business 20 years, yay.

McKenzie Raymond (10:25):

Congrats.

Patty Jackson (10:25):

Thank you. They’ll get back to me and they’ll say, “I still use the tools. I still turn back to the curriculum in order to guide me.” And it’s so rewarding. I find more rewarding, more happiness out of hearing people just using it as a self-coaching than the coaches who are successful in the coaching business for some reason.

Jessica Armstrong (10:46):

Yeah. Because it really is the soul of your business is to get us to be able to self-coach because we really need to create that for ourselves before we can really share it with others. And there’s the one part of, or there’s this one part, wonderment came up for me even when you were talking about like when kids were younger and being able to see them, being able to see others for how they are.

Jessica Armstrong (11:18):

And it’s really this idea of wonderment, which is baked right into your certification and the curriculum there as well. It’s something that McKenzie and I use a lot. It’s something McKenzie even taught me when I was first coaching with her when she was coaching me.

Jessica Armstrong (11:36):

And I have just really been able to take that idea with me and through so many things, even when things are really feeling tough and you just really don’t know how to be, reminding yourself to wonder instead of worry and have kind of this curiosity around what could the next steps look like or what could I be learning from this? Or how can I even practice more self-love in this darkness?

Jessica Armstrong (12:09):

I would love to hear what you feel, why wonderment and how that really came in to be a big part of it as well.

Patty Jackson (12:20):

I think wonderment is the gateway drug from going from contrast and challenges to, “Oh wait a minute, I’ve done this many, many times before. I’ve felt this horrible many, many times before and I will get through it and there will be exhilarating success on the other side.” It’s that thing that helps us pivot from the challenge and the heavy emotions to a bigger perspective where all of a sudden things can loosen up and open up.

Patty Jackson (12:50):

It’s so funny and tricky to be a human, I don’t get it. I think that we should be born and then somewhere along the line we should get that owner’s manual. Okay, you’re here, and life’s going to be great. And sometimes it’s just going to absolutely suck. And when it does, here are some things you can do. Because sometimes it does and sometimes you’re not going to be happy and it’s okay.

McKenzie Raymond (13:12):

I think it’s been so incredible to witness these tools working for so many different people across all age ranges. And I wonder how things might be different if at fifth grade or maybe earlier, we started to implement and teach some of these things.

Patty Jackson (13:33):

It’s funny because people will, whatever age they come and start learning these things, I hear it all the time, “I wish I would’ve learned this sooner.” But the truth is I’ve learned it, I teach it, I’ve written the curriculum and when the going gets really tough, I forget.

Patty Jackson (13:49):

And so, maybe we were taught it, but maybe not enough for it to be our strongest muscle. And somewhere along the line, like going to the gym, I have to exercise my muscles, I have to stretch. I think that inherently we all do know it and implement really good self-coaching strategies many times. It’s just when we get into the challenge forgetting the strategies that work, and that’s what I feel like these tools are and these conversations are.

Patty Jackson (14:22):

I’ve listened to your podcast and when I’m listening to it, I can feel a stronger connection to my inner wisdom. And listening to you two talk and even though you’re talking about a lot of the things that are in the curriculum that you learned, it always refreshes and strengthens my connection to my wisdom.

McKenzie Raymond (14:40):

Wow, that’s so amazing to receive.

Jessica Armstrong (14:44):

It was kind of like an aha moment again, even in that idea that we already have that in us and then that wasn’t a muscle that we really worked, that maybe we did learn some things along the way, but we just either didn’t know how to strengthen it at the time or nurture it at the time or we didn’t have the resources we needed.

Jessica Armstrong (15:09):

So, it became kind of that back behind-the-scenes muscle that just hasn’t had a chance to really shine. And that’s why it can be so hard in our older ages to really get it strong again. It’s like if you’ve never really worked on it because you just didn’t know, you didn’t know how or you didn’t know that was what you needed to do, it really can become, can feel really difficult to work on and strengthen.

Jessica Armstrong (15:41):

But seeing it that way, seeing it as a muscle gives it almost a little bit of something tangible that you can kind of wonder about or imagine about and see it in another way.

McKenzie Raymond (15:56):

I feel like in some ways we’re almost strengthening this muscle for ourselves too as we host and we have these amazing conversations because so often like we are speaking this coaching language that you’re talking about Patty, and you can hear it because you know it and you live it.

McKenzie Raymond (16:14):

But that’s just something I kind of want to like let our listeners know. Both Jessica and I have been certified, so I think it is just one of these things that becomes a bit more ingrained the more that you practice. So, to be meeting and having these powerful conversations and speaking this language, it feels like I’m just making it more accessible for when I forget again and then it’s easier to remember.

Patty Jackson (16:41):

Right, that is so true.

McKenzie Raymond (16:44):

Imagine a space where you get to explore your dreams, set achievable goals, and feel genuine love and acceptance for yourself. Hey, McKenzie here and I’m excited to let you know that for the first time ever, I’m offering a one-on-one support without a long-term commitment.

McKenzie Raymond (17:00):

There is truly nothing that lights me up more than holding space for you to remember and claim your own magnificence. It’s your time to shine and I’m going to be here to support you every step along the way. So, whether you’re looking to break through resistance, find clarity, or need a confidence boost, my private sessions are designed to help you connect to your inner truth and create momentum in the right direction.

McKenzie Raymond (17:26):

Take the next step and reach out to me today, email mckenzie@risingsolholistic.com so that we can schedule our time together. I can’t wait to meet you where you are and support you on your own transformative journey.

Patty Jackson (17:42):

It is an exercise, something that has to be strengthened, I truly believe.

Jessica Armstrong (17:49):

And for anybody who’s kind of, is it — as McKenzie mentioned, these are maybe some life coaching terminologies or things that we’re used to because we’ve been practicing them, and we have learned.

Jessica Armstrong (18:02):

What do you like to tell people who really are just kind of getting started or maybe don’t even realize they’re here and they’re listening because they’re in tune to wanting to know more about themselves and their inner self, but they’re not sure what that next step is or even what they need to be listening to or hearing within themselves on how to move forward with strengthening those muscles.

Patty Jackson (18:31):

So, your question is, what do I tell people on that when they’re-

Jessica Armstrong (18:33):

Yeah, when they’re ready to go, kind of.

Patty Jackson (18:35):

When they’re ready, I think that it is, I always call the marketing that we do universal manager marketing because I think that it’s just a knowing within that when people are ready they’re going to immerse in more. And one of the things that’s so important in coaching and what we do is like, you don’t ever have to learn this.

Patty Jackson (18:56):

You don’t ever have to take the journey of exercising your connection to your inner strength and knowing who you are and applying self-care strategies and self-coaching strategies so you can be your best self. You don’t ever have to do it.

Patty Jackson (19:13):

So, I don’t tell people anything except for listen to them and take care of myself and respond in a way that feels honoring of them where they’re at and feels honoring of what I have to share. When I have family members who are in a struggle, I really go back into like, “Is it me? Am I the one that should be reaching out at this point?”

Patty Jackson (19:33):

And if I don’t get that feeling, I just send them love and you’ve got this and that wise part of you is leading you and there’s teachers and other people that will support you. And if it’s me reach out or I’ll reach out when it feels right. Does that answer that question?

Jessica Armstrong (19:53):

Yeah, that’s really strong too. I love that answer.

Patty Jackson (19:57):

Because I’m not here to rescue or save anyone or tell anyone how to live. How do I know, I’m still learning about how to live my life to the best that I can. I’m still learning how to grow through my challenges and watch them evolve.

McKenzie Raymond (20:11):

And it really is a feeling like as someone who has gone through this experience, and I know that my mom has worked with you for years and so through probably some of my toughest times in my 20s, I know that she was practicing this but I wasn’t ready. I was in no place or I was in no way open to this.

McKenzie Raymond (20:30):

And so, had I heard those things, I wouldn’t have remembered them because I wouldn’t have integrated them and I wouldn’t have cared. And so, to come to a place within yourself where you really feel ready and I think that’s when the change happens because I’m showing up in this way where I’m fully committed to myself, to my growth, to this transformation and I can’t force that either.

McKenzie Raymond (20:58):

Like I have to have my full experience, I have to go through the tough times, I have to learn the hard way sometimes and when it’s time I will know. And it’s so nice to give that space to people now that I’ve taught coach certification class to.

McKenzie Raymond (21:18):

I love how you put it the universal manager for your marketing because it does feel that way because it’s like I’m here holding the space when you’re ready to show up and if you decided, if you feel it, if you can resonate with that, yes, and I will be here and come join us and we’ll be celebrating your yes.

McKenzie Raymond (21:38):

But yeah, it’s really this internal work that starts before we even get a manual or any kind of curriculum. It’s like starting to tune into that inner wisdom before we even step into coaching at all.

Patty Jackson (21:53):

Which is fascinating, McKenzie, having your mom in class so many, many years ago, she always said, “I’d love my daughter to do this.” And she was like, “McKenzie’s going to take the certification program.” And I’d be like, “Okay, okay.”

Patty Jackson (22:05):

And years would go by, years would go by and one day she said, you’re taking it. So, what was that for you? Were you aware that your mom wanted you to take it many, many years ago and then what flipped your switch to all of a sudden say, “I’m going, I’m doing it.”

McKenzie Raymond (22:22):

Yeah, I think it was just a lot of my own personal growth after graduating college and a lot of my 20s I will say we talk about addiction a lot on the show. And so, there were times when I was using alcohol a lot in order to numb my feelings and not feel anything.

McKenzie Raymond (22:43):

And so, as I was getting more into my own spiritual journey with yoga, I think that was kind of like a stepping stone into it. And I always felt that I was aware. I mean I’ve always felt deeply sensitive and I think that maybe now I can say I thought that I was open in my 20s.

McKenzie Raymond (23:05):

Like I thought that I was aware, but honestly taking the coaching curriculum was such a, it was like I realized like I had just scratched the surface when I think part of that was my mom would always ask if I was open to, if she had some kind of tool to use or some way to help. So, obviously when I’m calling my mom, I’m just calling my mom, let’s say to vent.

McKenzie Raymond (23:30):

And that was something I always really appreciated because she didn’t try and coach me at all times. It was like, she would really ask me like, “Hey, are you open to trying this tool? Or I’ve done this thing that really helped me. Do you want to try it out?” It was only if I was open that we would even go into it.

McKenzie Raymond (23:47):

And I think it was through seeing how much some of those things really started to help me that I really started to become more interested. And then once I learned about the clear inner focus table, it was something that I caught myself just even going back to where I didn’t know that I could just do it on my own on a piece of paper at that time.

McKenzie Raymond (24:10):

So, I’m like, “Where is that text with this and these instructions?” And so, I think yeah, using some of the tools, just having her start to drop some little hints and really letting me come to my own awareness that wow, I am ready to take this next step.

McKenzie Raymond (24:29):

And yeah, just being able to see the power in the tools and seeing like when I was in a tough space, I would think about something like that. Like, “Ah, I wish I had something that could help me work through this.” And I would go back to something that my mom had referenced and it helped me every time.

Patty Jackson (24:50):

I love that, the clearer focus table that you were looking for, the paper and instructions. Because it’s so easy and it’s so simple, but it’s that muscle and when people first do it, it’s really hard just to simply stay focused long enough to be aware of what you’re thinking and to be able to name what the feeling is.

Patty Jackson (25:11):

So, many times we don’t want to look at our thoughts because they’re ugly. My story about what the first time that I became aware of using the tool and actually built the tool was I thought in my head, I’m going to slam my children’s heads together. I’m so frustrated. And that’s a really, really scary ugly thought. I never would’ve acted it upon it, but wow, wow. Look at that thought.

Jessica Armstrong (25:35):

I really loved hearing that from you actually, McKenzie, and the way you explained it too, really is another layer of why I love the curriculum and why I was so attracted to it is that it really focuses on … because for me, I’m somebody who’s always felt pretty intuitive and just loving others and wanting the best for them. Because I’m like, “Gosh, if I feel this way, I don’t want anybody else to feel that way.”

Jessica Armstrong (26:04):

Usually, to my own detriment, I’d often want to give more than I would give myself. But what I loved about it was, it was this idea of honoring people right where they are. And we’re here to provide tools and guidance for them to get more in touch with themselves on their own in a way.

Jessica Armstrong (26:26):

Like we’re helping them be able to come up with these answers or these ideas or this clarity that already exists within themselves and we’re just holding space for them where they can be vulnerable and they can discuss and we can ask the powerful questions to help them get there.

Jessica Armstrong (26:53):

But it really is about helping people learn how to connect with themselves on their own. And to me that felt really important because it felt so good for me and that was something I really wanted to learn, just the basics and the tools so I could help others do that for themselves.

Patty Jackson (27:12):

I think the curriculum is really based around/for I think emotional sensitivity and intuition. We all are emotionally sensitive to some extent and all are intuitive, but what do you do with that then? If I’m here and I’m feeling someone else’s emotions, it’s uncomfortable. And that’s where I think we get tripped up is I feel their emotions, so I’m going to go in and and help them because I don’t want to feel their emotions.

Patty Jackson (27:41):

But when you understand that simply staying in your own energy field, in your own emotions and giving them space to feel their emotions, it’s okay to feel sad. Please do feel sad when things are going on because sadness will help you get reconnected with yourself, it’ll help you soothe yourself in time and help new things grow from within.

Patty Jackson (28:01):

So, that emotional sensitivity and intuitiveness is such a gift. But I like to say it’s like giving a two-year-old a running chainsaw. The chainsaw’s very powerful, but it’s running and it can cause major damage if there’s not an understanding about when and how to use the gifts that we have, such as emotional sensitivity and intuition.

Jessica Armstrong (28:25):

I like that or the idea of being uncomfortable, that was something that I was always used to having like people around me being uncomfortable when my emotions would come out. So, I never knew how to kind of manage them.

Jessica Armstrong (28:39):

And it’s just in that like it’s such a wonderful gift that we can give others to give them permission to let it out and be sad and reassure them in a way. Because I think we need that when we’re really vulnerable and especially in times when maybe we can’t hold back our tears and we want to let them out.

Jessica Armstrong (29:05):

It’s so wonderful when you can have somebody there with you in that space that knows how to hold just whatever you need. You just need me to hear and let you know that what you’re feeling is okay and you just need a friend to sit here and listen.

McKenzie Raymond (29:22):

I can be that for you because I know we struggle a lot with self-esteem when we feel like our emotions are burdening on others or making others uncomfortable and then we feel like we don’t fit in or we can’t find our space around in the community.

McKenzie Raymond (29:42):

I so relate to what you’re sharing and I feel like part of my pivotal moment too was how the conversations that I would have with my mom were so neutralizing. So, like these things that happened in my 20s where I’ll go rock bottom, spent a night in jail, just these horrible things that happened where I’m not proud of them and being able to neutralize it.

McKenzie Raymond (30:08):

Not saying that going to jail is a totally normal human thing, but it is, it is a normal human thing. And so, just neutralizing so many of those emotions that I had around my own pain, being able to forgive myself, recognizing that someone else was even willing to forgive me.

McKenzie Raymond (30:28):

And yeah, like just bringing awareness to the normal human stuff that we all go through in our lives and that I didn’t have to hold that because they weren’t holding that, they weren’t kind of feeling that towards me, and it was okay for me to release that in myself as well.

Patty Jackson (30:49):

Wow. So, you spent a night in jail, called and told your mom about it and she gave you the space to grow through that experience?

McKenzie Raymond (30:56):

I would say like my whole 20s felt a little bit like that.

Patty Jackson (30:59):

Wow. That’s so amazing because we work with so many parents of teens and young adults and whenever the young adult is going through big challenges, we work with the parents first because they’re the first line of defense.

Patty Jackson (31:13):

And when we’re in a really growth and vulnerable made mistake places, to be able to be a parent that holds this space for you to grow through it instead of getting in there and getting all scared and starting to live your life and tell you what to do and manipulate things, I’ve seen that cause growth to slow down so much.

Patty Jackson (31:34):

But to give the space and be able to give the boundary and knowing that growth can come from this, this very, very horrible thing, make something of it, something good comes from bad things if you let them. And how cool it is that you had that experience of being able to turn to someone and they would listen and only give tools if you were ready or advice if you were open to it.

McKenzie Raymond (32:03):

Yeah, I mean really I owe, I think some of my growth now that I’m 30-years-old and I’m here too. Part of the path that my mom has been living really these past 10 years over the growth that she’s done, that space that she’s held for me and now to be here, speaking this language and yeah, it just feels so full circle and awesome.

McKenzie Raymond (32:27):

I know that the tool of flipping worry to wonder helped her a lot during those times as well. She has shared that and I definitely can see why, because I had the travel bug and I was running around the world and I didn’t have Wi-Fi and so I didn’t have cell service so I’d only connect if I had Wi-Fi and I would connect right when I arrived somewhere. But it maybe wasn’t as quick as she was hoping for.

McKenzie Raymond (32:55):

And so, during those times when maybe she was going into the worry, because I know when there’s no communication, my brain goes into all the stories and all the worst case scenarios. And so, I know for her being able to really turn her worry to wonder and instead of thinking about like, yeah, if she’s worried if I’m somewhere safe, wondering what is the weather like or something just again I love how you put it, kind of zooming out, broadening the perspective, being able to see that bigger picture.

McKenzie Raymond (33:32):

And from an energetic perspective in the chakras, the lower chakras are, it’s that fear, it’s that worry, it’s that emotion and wonder. It’s like it’s moving you higher into this bigger perspective. So, that was just another cool connection that I had as you were sharing that earlier.

Patty Jackson (33:54):

If we think about intuitiveness too, and I do believe we all are, if you’re over there somewhere across the world and there’s someone that you’re connected to energetically, like your mom, if she’s worrying, that energy, that vibration will be picked up on.

Patty Jackson (34:10):

They’ve done studies where if you take a piece of your biology and fly it across the world and then do something to the person who’s the host, the body, cause some shock in that body that biology will actually show signs of shock that happened in the body.

Patty Jackson (34:28):

So, the butterfly effect, we are making a difference in each other’s lives all the time. So, by taking worry, especially my mother worry, I have four kids myself, they’re adults and it’s a lot easier now that they’re adults. But there are times where I can get very worried about what’s going on for them when they hit big challenges.

Patty Jackson (34:50):

I write it down, when I write down what I’m worried about, it slows it down and then I start flipping my focus. And once I get to that clear inner focus of a picture that I would love to see them become after the challenge is over, I’m solid.

Patty Jackson (35:07):

And then I know that when they call, I’m coming from this solid, I know what could become from this attitude. So, I’m being part of the cure instead of part of the disease. The dis-ease, the uncomfortable emotions that they’re going through, I don’t have them, so I’m not adding to them.

McKenzie Raymond (35:26):

And as a child receiving this, like thinking about my mom, how amazing it is for your children to have you holding the vision for them once they’re through that hard time or through the challenge. So, that I believe yeah, you’re impacting them, you’re helping them along in some ways as well.

Patty Jackson (35:46):

Yeah, and I can’t say it’s always easy because they’re tools but it doesn’t mean that it’s always easy, but it’s easier. I can tell you that it’s a lot easier.

Jessica Armstrong (35:58):

And worry is a definitely a big part of our society. I think most of us worry, a lot of us worry more often than we’d want to. And I believe that there’s many people who use worry because I have done this myself. Use worry as a way of coping or a way of feeling safe. If I worry enough about something and I then I’ll be prepared for whatever comes my way kind of thing.

Jessica Armstrong (36:32):

Before you continue on with that thought, I’d love to take a moment to talk to you about the bliss inducing elixir that we’ve both become quite familiar with. I’m talking about the heart-opening drink cacao.

McKenzie Raymond (36:44):

Yes, my love cacao. Cacao is a superfood and also the purest form of chocolate. The ceremonial drink has been used by mesoamerican civilizations in sacred ceremony for thousands of years. In fact, cacao is considered to be of divine origin and the cacao tree was often revered as a conduit between heaven and earth.

Jessica Armstrong (37:07):

In addition to the spiritual significance of cacao, it contains many healing properties that provide feelings of stimulation and joy.

McKenzie Raymond (37:15):

While Soul Lift cacao provides a variety of direct trade cacao products, I’m biased towards heart of the earth blend because during my time in Lake Atitlan, Guatemala, I had the privilege of visiting this incredible women’s collective and feeling the love that is infused from bean to block.

Jessica Armstrong (37:33):

I know you’ve used cacao, mostly ceremonial, and I enjoy using cacao even to supplement my caffeine intake. Not only does cacao provide me with a more grounded stimulation, but I love knowing that my purchase is going directly towards supporting indigenous communities.

McKenzie Raymond (37:50):

Use the link in our show notes to purchase your own ceremonial-grade cacao today. Be sure to use our code good enough at checkout to support the show and receive a discount. Stay tuned for opportunities to indulge in this incredible medicine collectively with our virtual cacao ceremonies coming soon.

Jessica Armstrong (38:10):

So, with somebody who is worrying about maybe a loved one or they’re worried about even their finances or worried about current relationships, just anything that’s kind of upsetting their flow, maybe they don’t even know how to connect back to their flow when they’re in that.

Jessica Armstrong (38:31):

You mentioned writing, which I love writing too, in that what would you recommend to somebody when they’re worrying? What are the questions they’re asking for to get clarity to move into that wonderment space and flip that focus?

Patty Jackson (38:48):

So, the first thing is, is to just love yourself where you’re at. Our brains are wired and neural pathways are formed and worry can become a very common place to go inside our heads. So, it’s like a pathway in the woods and here’s the topic, easy to go to these worried thoughts and so it has momentum and kind of a life of its own. And you can go from fine to 60 miles an hour in worry when that pathway is really formed.

Patty Jackson (39:18):

So, my first thing that I would recommend if you’re a big worrier is to just, that means you care about something and you’re just not focused on what you care about. You’re focused on it not being there. So, just breathe and remember you’re worried because you care. So, by doing that, we’re bringing that first awareness acceptance and self-love to ourselves because people who worry a lot often think, “Oh, I shouldn’t worry.”

Patty Jackson (39:41):

And then they notice they’re worrying and they start beating themselves up for worrying. And now we just reinforce that pathway and we’ve added a whole lot of momentum to the worry. So, again, the first one is whenever becoming aware of worrying, just breathe and remember you’re there because you care and you’re just not focused on what you care about yet, and that’s okay.

Patty Jackson (40:02):

So, that slows it down. Can you even feel it slowing down as I’m talking about things. So, it slows it down. And if that’s the best you can do because life is busy, that’s good enough for now, just slowing it down will help to bring that worry back into your ability to drop in and get focused on what you care about and get back in your heart. So, many times people worry and then they share their worry because it supposedly lets people know you love them.

Patty Jackson (40:33):

I’m worried and I want you to put sunscreen on. And my stepmom, my dad’s wife, I loved her to pieces, but she had one son and he was on a family reunion with us. He was probably about 65, and the mom was worried all about his sunscreen and sat there and made sure that he had sunscreen on and took care of his sunscreen thing.

Patty Jackson (40:55):

And yeah, that is showing she loved him. But that’s an example of worrying does show love, but also from the outside it was like, “Whoa, is he taking this on in himself.” And for me, I would like to show love in different ways than worry.

Jessica Armstrong (41:14):

Yeah. Wow. Yeah, that’s really another powerful way to even look at that too. It made me think of kind of, maybe you have like aunts and uncles or grandparents that really want to tell you, “Oh, I don’t know if that’s good for you, or are you sure you want to do that? Or how is that …

Jessica Armstrong (41:32):

And you feel like, well I’m in my 30s and I feel like I know what I’m doing or something like that. But when you look at it from the perspective, from the big picture and you can say, “Why are they really saying this to me?” And seeing it as a way that they do love you, then maybe we can transmute some of that worriness into just love or compassion.

Jessica Armstrong (42:00):

So, that’s interesting because I’ve had times where I’ve been really frustrated because I’m like, “Do they just not think I know how to take care of myself or something like that?” And you’re like, “When is this going to end?” You think in adulthood, eventually they’ll stop. But yeah, it’s just people don’t stop worrying because they don’t stop loving you. And so, that’s a really cool way that to think about that too.

Patty Jackson (42:26):

I think it’s tricky because after learning some of these things then it’s hearing somebody else worry. At first, when I first started learning this, I was like wanting them to not worry and put their worry on me. And really, this isn’t about changing anyone else. It’s about, “Okay, how can I respond differently than when they’re worrying and I can listen to worry as in they love me,” and just leave it at that.

Patty Jackson (42:49):

Nobody has to change, nobody around me has to change. I can just change to help myself feel more comfortable and grounded and loving and use that to respond to others and use my ears to hear the love. Even though it’s coming out as worry and sounding like they don’t trust me and my ability to make decisions.

McKenzie Raymond (43:11):

That’s so powerful. And I mean, it’s beyond just worry and love that we can do this for what a great example of awareness. If we’re not aware that we’re showing our love in worry, well then we’re going to continue to do that and not even recognize that maybe we’re making our niece or nephew feel like, wow, she feels like I don’t know how to live my life or whatever’s going on there.

McKenzie Raymond (43:36):

So, it’s like, yeah, just another layer of that awareness. And we recognize things like the way that we’re loving someone or maybe when that emotion of worry is showing up and that it’s a way that we’re trying to show love. But for coaching, for me it’s really taught me or opened me up to learning that there’s another way.

McKenzie Raymond (43:59):

And back in my twenties, like I thought I knew and it really took me coming to a place where I was like, “Okay, I can know what I know, but why don’t I just learn a little bit more and just see where this takes me as well.” And yeah, I think, having the openness to having it be a different way.

Patty Jackson (44:20):

And I think maybe in your 20s you did know and you were learning and you were mastering the curriculum of a 20-year-old. And then when it’s time to experience life new and in a different way, there’s more to learn. There’s always more to learn.

McKenzie Raymond (44:34):

I think that’s such a powerful reminder for anyone who, again, I have heard too from clients or someone taking the curriculum of, “Man, I wish I would’ve learned this sooner.” And I think that really is my little alarm bell to come back to this idea of good enough and that where you are right now is enough.

McKenzie Raymond (44:58):

And we talk about it’s a seven-step process to positive change, but the last two steps are enough, practicing enough, and the last is practicing patience and praising yourself every step along the way. And I think that has been so huge for me. The way you put it earlier was, existing is enough, your presence is a gift. And so, remembering that, praising myself for being alive today.

Patty Jackson (45:31):

I love the enough in which when the seven steps to positive change downloaded for me, I was so excited about them. I was like, “These are awesome.” And then I started beating myself up because I couldn’t write them down as the story goes.

Patty Jackson (45:44):

But then what I noticed is I walked myself through the steps and I got to the enough and I realized I was on a bike with four kids back at home. The twins were well taken care of, and I wasn’t worried about the babysitter being overwhelmed.

Patty Jackson (46:00):

And I wasn’t riding my bike thinking, “Oh, no, I better get back there and take care of that mayhem that was going.” I was on my bike experiencing and enjoying now as enough. It was like so profound, like, “Oh, I got myself to where I wanted to be and I’m missing it because I’m mad at myself that I don’t have a pen.” And that’s when the pen showed up right in front of my wheel. Honestly, it was unbelievable.

Jessica Armstrong (46:26):

Oh, wow. Yeah, needed to jot that stuff down and the universe presented.

Patty Jackson (46:32):

And I used the steps to get to the pen. And then I realized I’m sitting here on my bike not enjoying the ride because of this pen, but I was enjoying the fact that this muse was coming in with all these ideas, but I wasn’t fully enjoying it because of the freedom that I was having, being able to be myself without being immersed in my kids.

McKenzie Raymond (46:54):

And I think enough is really a practice of presence, like you were saying, how often do we probably, subconsciously kind of let the moment, the present moment be stolen by this other feeling of, “Oh, it’s not enough, or I’m not where I should be.”

McKenzie Raymond (47:13):

I recently had this awareness that I’ve shared this, but it was a couple weeks, no, a couple months ago, honestly now. But it was this awareness that acceptance sometimes feels like settling to me, and so with that, like being able to practice enough, not because it’s going to get me there but practicing enough because like you said, exist in this moment, I deserve right here. You got to be on that bike not worrying about everything going on back there while really downloading this entire curriculum. And yeah, I mean, that is more than enough, that is incredible.

Jessica Armstrong (47:57):

And for the seven steps to positive change, which is foundation or definitely something that you really start off with, with the curriculum and with clients who work with us who are coaches, would you be able to give us a little overview of those and then also just about anything that you’d like to share about what’s coming up around the coaching or anything that you have that you’d like to share around that?

Patty Jackson (48:31):

Yeah, so seven steps to positive change came when I was about to do a workshop. And I was like, I just want a system, like a really easy system to walk people through to help them understand what I’m teaching them.

Patty Jackson (48:44)

And I got on my bike and all of a sudden, I didn’t know it was going to be the moment where it happened, but I got on my bike, and they came in. So, that first one was awareness, acceptance, and self-love. And that is the biggest and most important step.

Patty Jackson (48:58):

What I find when working with people is they become aware and they don’t accept, and then they don’t accept that they don’t accept, and get tripped up in that first step in a loop of a lifetime. So, awareness, acceptance, and self-love, and even accepting the fact that sometimes you absolutely hate yourself and you hate your life, but you can be aware and accept and love that that is going on for you. That is the most profound thing that I think that I’ve been able to impart to people.

Patty Jackson (49:27):

I’ve said that sometimes I’ve been here in this earth, and it has been so hard that I think, gosh, I’d rather not be here. And I say that to a group of people, and they’ll nod their heads. And why don’t we tell people that? Like sometimes it’s going to get so hard that it’s going to feel like what’s the point of even existing?

Patty Jackson (49:46):

So, that being deep and heavy, the second step is to get clear on your desire. And so, to begin it usually is I don’t want, and when we’re working with clients so many times they start off with, “I don’t want this, I don’t want that. I’m here because I don’t want this. And then what do you want?”

Patty Jackson (50:02):

And that pathway, that muscle of flipping your focus from being so mad about the problem to getting clear on like, “What does your heart want?” Wow, that is a neural pathway, that is a muscle that just gets so much easier with exercise.

Patty Jackson (50:17):

The next one is open to receive, and that’s addressing your fear. And it’s also addressing our unique way of doing things. I don’t want to do it the way other people did it, I want to do it my way. And that’s okay, you don’t have to do it someone else’s way.

Patty Jackson (50:32):

And once you’re aware of how you would want to do it or how you’re willing to receive it, suddenly your energy opens up, that confused thought, that frustrating situation, that worry can turn to wonder. So, we got a do, D-O, open to receive, and the next one’s believe.

Patty Jackson (50:49):

Biblically, it says, whatever you ask for in prayer and believe, metaphysically, they say whatever the mind can achieve and believe, that’s the big part. Believing, oh my goodness, now I’m open and I can see the tiny steps. My goodness, look at me, I’m on a podcast with two students who went through my program, and they went through it with a different teacher.

Patty Jackson (51:12):

Now, one of my master coaches who taught them, holy cow, I can believe that I have made a difference in the world. So, by stopping and just believing and smelling the roses, oh, suddenly life becomes juicy again. Instead of, “Oh, this again.”

Patty Jackson (51:28):

And once I look at and stop and believe more can come and I can make better steps forward, just like all of us who stop and just believe where’s the flower unfolding? This is how we can experience and enjoy now as enough and believe that there’ll be more.

Patty Jackson (51:47):

The next one’s inspiration. And that’s the thing about like, “What is one step I can take?” Asking yourself, “What is that?” And then when you get the idea, follow it. Again, makes life juicy. I asked the question, “What’s a step I can do?” And then the inspiration came, the seven steps, and then I wrote them down and followed them. And they’ve been very, very hopeful. I, inspiration, E, experience and enjoy now as enough.

Patty Jackson (52:16):

And like everything we need to balance it, this is enough and there’ll be more, but this is enough, good job. Practice patience and praise over and over and over again. Because when I found that pen, you know what I did? Now I don’t have paper, it started all over again.

McKenzie Raymond (52:34):

Oh, my gosh, that is amazing. I mean a good thing, you followed that inspired action of taking a bike ride. Because I find for myself so often these steps that feel unrelated are related because it’s creating space.

McKenzie Raymond (52:50)

Like one of the things, I love to do is go on a walk at this beautiful park near my house, and it’s those times when I’m giving myself the space to be present and to do something totally for myself that I find maybe that creativity does come in and I have more of that space to tap into inspired action.

Patty Jackson (53:10):

Yeah. Yeah. And that’s what I think wonder helps us do is helps us open up to hear that inspiration or open up to go on that walk so you can get more flow going and the inspiration coming through.

Jessica Armstrong (53:22):

Yeah. And that belief part really stood out for me, just like the way that you were able to share your witness and your validation of, “Hey, look what I’m doing now, and this is just part of what I’ve gone through, been through my whole life and now I’m here and it’s amazing, and I can believe in these.”

Jessica Armstrong (53:46):

There’s really not these limits that I can do these things and life can lead me in these positive ways. And to have moments like these, that’s such a powerful thing, especially when we really need it and we feel far away from that, hope and belief and fate and everything to be able to tap into that.

Patty Jackson (54:08):

I like the steps because when I walk myself through them, I can feel my energy increasing. I can feel myself being able to just touch each of those a little bit and feel my energy increasing. And for me, increasing my energy and that good feeling of energy moving through me is everything. It’s the best part of life for me. But I have a question for both of you, what’s good enough in your life right now?

McKenzie Raymond (54:33):

What’s good enough in my life right now? Honestly, I feel like the podcast has been a really big practice of good enough, knowing that showing up, this conversation, my presence is enough. I think remembering that having these conversations is more than enough and that really, even if I can’t necessarily hold it because it’s not tangible that ripple is happening, that people’s lives are being positively impacted, and that even if it’s just for myself, that that’s enough as well.

McKenzie Raymond (55:13):

Because I feel like that has been one of the just biggest things that I’ve really noticed in this whole process is how much healing and I’ve gotten out of having these vulnerable conversations and amazing guests on like you. So, yeah, letting this podcast show be enough and celebrating myself and each of you right here today for what it is.

Patty Jackson (55:38):

Thanks for sharing that.

Jessica Armstrong (55:39):

It’s been a rough season. I will have to say, just for — we’ve had some just unexpected hiccups as life will bring. And some days have been hard, and I have been sad or low and not even being able to kind of get to that place where I can feel hopeful because it just feels so heavy.

Jessica Armstrong (56:06):

But in that even and looking back on those days and how I feel even just now in this moment is that I’m able to find some gratitude and in what I’ve had around me to even support me in those times and even being able to say, “Hey, it’s okay that you feel like this, it’s normal.” Like any human is going to have these reactions to this and you don’t have to be strong and resilient every second. Just even being able to say that is a part of resilience in itself.

Jessica Armstrong (56:47):

And for me, I think being able to say that to myself just shows a lot of my growth and being able to navigate harder times so much better than I used to and being able to come out of it feeling more confident, that to me is enough. It’s however I’m showing up in the morning and whatever I can complete in a day with the energy I have will always be enough.

Patty Jackson (57:19):

So, thank you for showing up here real and sharing realness. There are times and there are seasons where it is enough is that wow, I’m breathing and that’s good enough. Self-awareness is enough. I’m not there yet, nothing’s changing yet, I’m still here and breathing and loving myself, that is more than enough.

Patty Jackson (57:44):

That first step of positive change. Just being aware and accepting and loving yourself from the big picture, like the observer in the room and slowly that energy trickles through and helps inevitable growth, inevitable change.

Jessica Armstrong (58:03):

Absolutely. Well, McKenzie, you and I believe Susie, your mom also have some things coming up and we definitely want to make sure the listeners know if they are ready, where they can access what’s coming up in the coaching realm of Clear Inner Focus.

McKenzie Raymond (58:23):

Yes. I would love to share. So, my mom is doing a coach certification class starting January 16th, so you can sign up for that anytime now. And that’s a hybrid class, so both in-person and online. So, if you’re not in Wisconsin, you can still sign up for that. And then I’m also going to be teaching my next coach certification class starting April 11th. So, we’ll have the spring session if you’re not quite ready, that’s going to be an online course.

McKenzie Raymond (59:01):

And we’ll be sure to link all of this in the show notes. I know, Patty, you also have two amazing books. One is called Flip Your Focus, and one is Constructive Conversation. So, we’ll link those as well. And anything else that you want to share or wrap up with for us today, Patty?

Patty Jackson (59:20):

Well, I want to just say I’m so thrilled that both you and Susie are teaching the Coach Certification Program. It’s so fun to meet the students after they’ve gone through the training. There’s some of them that are just going to rock the coaching world and other ones that are just really happy with the self-growth that they’ve gotten out of it.

Patty Jackson (59:40):

And the best way to learn is to teach. And so, that’s what I love about every time that I used to teach the program, is there’s so much learning for everyone in that program, and I’m excited for you to be able to do that again.

Patty Jackson (59:52):

So, thanks for having me here and for being you and for saying yes to stepping into your own self-awareness and growth and being willing to share it with other people in a vulnerable way.

Jessica Armstrong (01:00:04):

Thank you, Patty. Oh my gosh, what a pleasure.

McKenzie Raymond (01:00:07):

Thank you. Have a good day. Bye.

Patty Jackson (01:00:10):

Bye. Take care.

McKenzie Raymond (01:00:14):

We know this time is precious to you, and because we are insanely joyful that you are spending it with us, we always want to deliver authentic vulnerability, and dive deep into what we are feeling as a collective.

Jessica Armstrong (01:00:26):

Our intention is to bring you stories and guests that provide you the opportunity to discover aha moments, so you leave our conversations feeling lighter and knowing what you do today will be good enough.

McKenzie Raymond (01:00:40):

We love to connect. Follow us on social media by following our handles linked in the show notes. If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, rate, review, and follow The Good Enough Podcast on Spotify, Apple Music, or your favorite podcast listening app, so you never miss an episode.