2: Self-Worth: Owning You’re Enough

McKenzie Raymond (00:00):

I’ll be like, “Oh, who am I to take up that much space or to really have that thing?” Or I think about all the people who don’t, or if we live in moderation, what that can do. And so, I do, I end up feeling sometimes shameful or guilty for the desire. When I can get to a place where I can really own my worth.

Jessica Armstrong (00:23):

I love to get that aha moment where you’re like, “Oh, I had no idea how much I was ignoring my self-worth in these situations and how I wasn’t showing up for myself in the way that I really needed to.”

Jessica Armstrong (00:38):

“And I was showing up in more of a way that I think everybody else needs me to show up, or even how parts of me think I should show up.”

Jessica Armstrong (00:47):

But my real self and what aligns with what I need are who I am is going to require me to show up in different ways at different times.

Jessica Armstrong (00:55):

Welcome to the Good Enough Podcast, a podcast that takes you into a new realm by inviting you to reduce your daily hustle and celebrate yourself right here.

McKenzie Raymond (01:11):

Tune in as we dive deep into vulnerable topics and interview guests who deliver transformative moments to you, our community of individuals healing on a collective journey.

Jessica Armstrong (01:21):

We’ll open up to the art of embodied self-care, and even on the days that you feel like a self-sabotaging rebel …

McKenzie Raymond (01:28):

We’re here to remind you that in this realm, we are all good enough.

Jessica Armstrong (01:36):

Hey there, welcome to another episode of The Good Enough Podcast. I am so excited to be recording with the incredible McKenzie Raymond. Hi, McKenzie.

McKenzie Raymond (01:52):

Hi. So happy to be back in this space with you recording. These are seriously my favorite days of the week.

Jessica Armstrong (01:59):

Same, same, girl. I was so stoked to be here. Really looking forward to this topic today. And I think it came up for both of us pretty organically as we typically come together and find out that we’ve experienced some of the same things.

Jessica Armstrong (02:16):

And we are talking a little bit about how we get into the space. We’re big dreamers, both of us. We have big dreams for the future, we love to envision it. And that manifesting, it’s all part of who we are.

Jessica Armstrong (02:31):

And at times when we’re trying to slow it down, it can be a bit overwhelming and it can create a lot of pressure. And when we really need that rest to help us take action, we almost can’t.

Jessica Armstrong (02:47):

I mean, I know for me, I just love to be in that space. But I loved some of the points that you made around that when we were talking earlier.

McKenzie Raymond (02:56):

Yeah, absolutely. I don’t think we can cover talking about being good enough without talking about self-worth.

McKenzie Raymond (03:05):

So, today, we are diving in, one of the things that really first came up for me around worthiness, and this idea is, as you know, I’m a reiki master and a yoga teacher, so I love to be in the energetic space.

McKenzie Raymond (03:22):

And so, one of the first things that came up as we were talking about self-worth was around the energy of the second chakra, which is our sacral chakra, also known as in Sanskrit, Svadhisthana.

McKenzie Raymond (03:36):

And this chakra really governs our own ability to own our worth to have desires. And it’s also, really where the energy on the flip side of like shame or guilt can come in.

McKenzie Raymond (03:53):

So, as we’re moving into being able to own our own worth and this idea of, I think claiming some of our dreams and desires, a lot of times I know what can happen is like I have these huge ambitious dreams.

McKenzie Raymond (04:10):

And then even it’s like in my own integrity with myself, I’ll be like, “Oh, like who am I to like take up that much space or to really have that thing?” Or I think about all the people who don’t, or if we live in moderation, what that can do.

McKenzie Raymond (04:27):

And so, I do, I end up feeling sometimes shameful or guilty for the desire when I can get to a place where I can really own my worth. And whether that’s buying organic food or taking that extra drive to the farm to pick up the farm fresh eggs or whatever.

McKenzie Raymond (04:48):

It’s like all of these little pieces I think play into our own self-worth and our ability to kind of set those boundaries in claiming that for ourselves. And only we can do that for ourselves.

McKenzie Raymond (05:01):

But it’s definitely a journey of getting to that place. And I don’t know if we ever get there. I think it’s just continuously a journey and more learning.

Jessica Armstrong (05:12):

It’s always yeah, a lifelong journey and we get little reminders along the way that we still have a ways to go. Of course, I love those times.

Jessica Armstrong (05:22):

I love to get that kind of aha moment where you’re like, “Oh, I had no idea how much I was ignoring my self-worth in these situations and how I wasn’t showing up for myself in the way that I really needed to.”

Jessica Armstrong (05:38):

“And I was showing up in more of a way that I think everybody else needs me to show up or even how parts of me think I should show up.”

Jessica Armstrong (05:48):

But my real self and what aligns with what I need are who I am is going to require me to show up in different ways at different times.

Jessica Armstrong (05:56):

And I loved that you pointed out boundaries. It’s really such a fundamental part of our lives because not only do we have to set boundaries between us and others, which can be very uncomfortable, we can feel very guilty and shameful around that, but we also, have to create boundaries within ourselves.

Jessica Armstrong (06:20):

Because I know for me (and I was talking to my amazing therapist about this) is I have this running what she calls manager. She does IFS, internal family systems, which is absolutely incredible. It’s definitely a deeper technique into the inner world, but we have these one parts of us that are managers.

Jessica Armstrong (06:45):

And for me right now, the manager that I have is really needing me to be active. And it’s like, “Hey, you can’t just sit around and do nothing.” Like it’s seeing me in this way and it’s using all of its punches to make me get going. And I see that’s what it’s doing and I appreciate that.

Jessica Armstrong (07:07):

And in the past when I struggled with taking action through depression and addiction, it was now getting, now I’m at this point where I’m trying to find balance and this manager in the past, it’s still using those same patterns as it used to.

Jessica Armstrong (07:28):

And it’s seeing me as maybe needing a kick in the butt, but I really actually need to settle down and take time because I’ve been going, going, going for so long and I’m really in that moment of trying to find stuff that aligns with me.

Jessica Armstrong (07:47):

But an interesting word that came up and was feeling paused and like really feeling like I don’t know where I’m going right now, because even though I’d really love to take some time and spend more time meditating and things like that, my manager mind wants me to work and be action.

Jessica Armstrong (08:08):

So, I feel like I can’t move forward and I also, feel like I can’t rest. And so, this feeling of being paused came up and it feels icky and I feel stuck because I can’t do either in a balanced way.

Jessica Armstrong (08:22):

I spoke with my husband about it and when he said that, maybe it’s because I’m not accepting where I am right now, could be a big reason I am in this place.

Jessica Armstrong (08:38):

And I think he’s a hundred percent. When he said that, my mind was blown. I was like, “You’re right.” Even though I probably knew deep down, I was like, “You’re absolutely right.” And that really brought me back to that being present and being out of that constant dream led mindset.

McKenzie Raymond (08:56):

Absolutely. Oh my gosh, I just love how in sync we always are. And I mean, I believe maybe even on a collective level too, like if you’re hearing this and you’re like, “Oh my gosh, I’ve been there.” It’s because like I really believe that we’re on these journeys, but individually together.

McKenzie Raymond (09:18):

And what a gift it is to just hear your perspectives and your experiences with owning your self-worth and this beautiful reflection that your husband and maybe men are just more in touch with this feeling of acceptance or contentment in the present.

McKenzie Raymond (09:40):

But I recently had kind of this like epiphany or aha moment as you would say in this quantum space that I’m a part of and reflecting on how I have these dreams and desires. And that sometimes when I accept right here, right where I am in this present moment, it feels like I am settling or playing small.

McKenzie Raymond (10:08):

And so, I think the lesson here is acknowledging that, loving myself in maybe the discomfort that I’m experiencing in this pause. And really owning that reflection of, wow, here you are doing our absolute very best, being incredibly aware and I think both accepting and loving of ourselves. But our partners reflecting back, maybe there’s even another layer of acceptance.

McKenzie Raymond (10:41):

And so, I think for me to hear that, like even hearing your story and then even when I think about it, like if someone hearing that for myself, I’m like, “Wow, really, like even in all the work that I’m doing and I’m like I’m trying and I’m working on it.”

McKenzie Raymond (10:59):

But it’s like I think that’s part of it too, just not having to try, just being right here, being more accepting, loving of this present moment because I really believe that we can’t move from this space.

McKenzie Raymond (11:15):

And like again, bringing it back to the energetics. Dreaming, envisioning, like all of those things are very third eye crown, kind of those type higher up in the energetic body. So, we really can’t, I don’t think move to a place where we can embody that until we’ve moved through the other chakras.

McKenzie Raymond (11:36):

And so, I think the second chakra energy is really asking us to accept, to recognize, wow, sometimes acceptance feels like playing small. And the epiphany, like I feel like I’m still processing that. I’m not even fully through that because I’m like, I’m still wrapping my mind around it.

McKenzie Raymond (11:58):

But I almost can recognize that initially when my partner had said that to me, I was a little bit shameful or like felt a little defeated maybe where I’m like, “Wow, I’m really not accepting this.”

McKenzie Raymond (12:13):

And so, just to even hear you and I’m like, oh, it just feels so good to be and experience our normal human stuff in community.

Jessica Armstrong (12:24):

Right, exactly. It’s so nice to hear someone else having that same struggle or that same conversation or that same realization and because we’re all going through it and we’re all at different stages.

Jessica Armstrong (12:39):

And like if I hear somebody just starting off with therapy and really getting on their healing journey and there’s a lot of emotion involved at that time, I know because I’ve done it a few times and there’s definitely a lot of emotion going on. There’s a lot of filing and questioning and just all of these things going on in your brain.

Jessica Armstrong (13:03):

And I really think it’s what you pointed out about the chakras and needing to heal. Well, you said go through those, but in my head I was thinking like healing each of those chakras, your root chakra too.

Jessica Armstrong (13:18):

Like if you don’t have a lot of security or strength or support around you, (especially growing up that was something I know I experienced) you have to work through those and it really brings up a lot of feelings because you’re really connecting to yourself in a whole new way.

Jessica Armstrong (13:40):

Like it’s not just what you’re thinking, these thoughts. A lot of which are programmed by things we’ve learned along the way or even things we’ve had to program ourselves because we weren’t sure how to handle or cope with events.

Jessica Armstrong (14:00):

And if we don’t work through that, it just constantly creates this barrier between ourselves and who we are inside.

Jessica Armstrong (14:14):

And when we start doing things where we’re connecting to the feelings and the energy that are coming from those spaces (that’s why I love this internal family systems work) it’s a lot about connecting through feeling, through energy like reiki.

Jessica Armstrong (14:32):

And it’s so powerful because you just get a whole new awareness around what goes on within yourself.

Jessica Armstrong (14:45):

And when you do heal those things or when you let go or when you make more space, feeling that and being able to allow those manifestations and those dreams and everything come in, the feeling is incredible.

Jessica Armstrong (14:59):

But that’s really where you and I, we really relate to this because we love that kind of healing and it to me is very productive.

McKenzie Raymond (15:12):

Yeah, absolutely. Oh my gosh, there are just so many points that you brought up that are like golden nuggets that I just want to like even touch back on.

Jessica Armstrong (15:23):

Thank you.

McKenzie Raymond (15:24):

Yes. I mean, it’s so crazy how all of this ties together because self-worth, being able to feel the things, move through the feelings, accept the feelings. It’s not just all the good ones, it’s the bad ones too.

Jessica Armstrong (15:42):

Yeah.

McKenzie Raymond (15:44):

And I also, want to kind of just circle back to you touched on addiction and I think my own journey with specifically alcohol very closely is tied into my own self-worth with myself.

McKenzie Raymond (15:58):

Because that’s where the boundaries have come in probably the most. Just in being able to still go out for a bachelorette party or whatever the thing is and grab that sparkling water.

McKenzie Raymond (16:12):

And it’s so interesting because like if you really take a deep dive into the chakras and understanding the energetic body, the sacral chakra is where all addiction shows up and it’s where if you’re not able to, there were years where I didn’t own my self-worth and I wasn’t able to move through my feelings with fluidity. So, I turn to a substance.

McKenzie Raymond (16:37):

It’s also, where moderation comes in. So, if we don’t have that for ourself, if we don’t set a boundary where we can create moderation and that balance, then we find an excess in that thing, which I struggled with for years.

McKenzie Raymond (16:54):

I did not know balance and it was my way to move through emotion because, oh well, I’ll just get blackout or wasted or it just becomes like something outside of myself then.

McKenzie Raymond (17:05):

And it’s funny and don’t get me wrong, I had some hilarious great times. I’ll save those. I’m sure we’ll get into an episode. Maybe like some of the never-heard stories of drunken days.

Jessica Armstrong (17:19):

Oh, yes.

McKenzie Raymond (17:20):

Yeah. I think being able to own my self-worth is so closely tied to like the ways that I’ve now, chosen to treat my body. And it has also, taken a lot of forgiveness and acceptance to get to this place where I can know that I was doing my best, knowing what I knew then.

McKenzie Raymond (17:38):

And at that time, it was to turn to alcohol to move through my feelings or it showed up in a lot of those relationships too. I had no sense of self-worth.

McKenzie Raymond (17:49):

So, then I was end up in these relationships being treated like shit. And it wasn’t until I owned my worth, set those boundaries that someone who really wanted to match my energy showed up.

McKenzie Raymond (18:02):

And I really believed that maybe that person could show up before we’re ready, let’s say, but if we haven’t done the work to own our self-worth, then those other things are going to persist. “Oh, I’m not worthy of this person or relationship,” or however that looks.

McKenzie Raymond (18:20):

But yeah, I just unpacked a lot. So, whatever you want to take from that.

Jessica Armstrong (18:25):

I love it. I mean, honestly, it’s so interesting because for me, addiction is close to my heart. And also, I want to mention when I say addiction, mine was particularly with alcohol, but there’s a whole like addictive thing that comes along with some of the stuff that we go through as we’re coming of age, especially in high school.

Jessica Armstrong (18:50):

And when we start drinking or whatever we start doing, there’s going to be some people who will tend to be more connected to wanting to use a substance more than another.

Jessica Armstrong (19:09):

Or they may even use a project or a job or a hobby, something that really keeps you detached from yourself, from reality, from others, whatever it is that you’re trying to escape.

Jessica Armstrong (19:27):

I know for me, I was trying to escape myself and my past and it was interesting because I like how this comes back around and you mentioned the chakra, how that’s related to all of that.

Jessica Armstrong (19:42):

And it was something that I didn’t realize I hadn’t really healed because to become sober, I had to have experienced some self-worth because it’s hard to pull yourself out of there because it is ultimately up to you. And my inner self was screaming for me to come out of that.

Jessica Armstrong (20:06):

And then not too long after I became sober and I started my own business, I again found myself not too long ago kind of in the same space where I just feel overwhelmed or depressed or I’m not sure what I’m doing anymore because I’m so disconnected from myself.

Jessica Armstrong (20:30):

And it wasn’t till I was in Bali and the Irish man who did my colonic, who actually, he’s 25 years sober himself and does rehab in Bali.

Jessica Armstrong (20:47):

But he said, “A lot of people who have been in addictions, they go into entrepreneurship because it helps them be identifying that have something to constantly distract them from what we really need, which is self-care time, with ourselves, time with connection to other people who are expanders and supporters, really tapping into that love, that fun, that joy that our life is really supposed to be about.”

Jessica Armstrong (21:22):

And it just was like hit me like a ton of bricks because I was just like, “Yeah, I’ve been identifying myself as an entrepreneur and not Jessica anymore.”

Jessica Armstrong (21:32):

And so, even after being sober for seven years, I still haven’t completely healed that. So, that’s kind of where I am now, and why this journey just is always continuing to go.

McKenzie Raymond (21:51):

Yeah. And I think that you mentioned like some of the practices for self-care and just like being able to kind of find joy in the pause and in the space.

McKenzie Raymond (22:02):

And I think that it can be really hard, like if we are always in this state of excess or if it is addiction or excess at all, like we’re not finding that middle ground, it becomes really difficult to practice the self-care and to even own our own self-worth.

McKenzie Raymond (22:22):

Like for me, I know I was just in a cycle of it was drinking and … alcohol’s a depressant as everyone should know. But be in that cycle of, well, I’m going to drink again because now, I don’t feel good and I don’t like how my body feels or looks, I feel like crap. I’m just filling it with all of these things.

McKenzie Raymond (22:45):

So, it’s like, did I feel like I could go to this like sacred circle? No, because I wasn’t able to even sit with my emotions at that time.

McKenzie Raymond (22:55):

And so, I think like being able to have awareness in like wherever it is that you’re on your journey and then really the thing that like it keeps coming back to is that acceptance piece of the acceptance of right here, right now. Even if it’s rock bottom, whatever the feeling is.

McKenzie Raymond (23:18):

And just knowing that even in that rock bottom, like you are so worthy and deserving.

Jessica Armstrong (23:26):

Yeah. And the rock bottom can be a really important place for you. It can be a place where you learn about your courage, you learn about the love that you do have for yourself. It makes you want to discover what you can do next, makes you want to search out for help. And they can be really transformative.

Jessica Armstrong (23:50):

And I think that’s why we know all so well that you just can’t have those light times without the dark times. And it just can provide such significant insight into who we are and what aligns with ourselves.

Jessica Armstrong (24:12):

I think my dark place that kind of got me out of the darkness that I was in and my real low point, what felt like my bottom, it was this idea that I didn’t want this to be my life and that I was willing to put forth the effort that I knew I would need to make that change.

Jessica Armstrong (24:35):

And again, with what comes with that second chakra that we’ve kind of been talking about, shame and guilt is something that comes along with alcohol. If you literally use it a little bit more than you should, most often you’re going to gain …

Jessica Armstrong (24:55):

It does not help, let’s just say. It doesn’t help with any guilt and shame that you already have. And it definitely will create situations where you can feel that way.

Jessica Armstrong (25:06):

And carrying shame and guilt is rough, so hard. I know when I read Brené Brown’s Daring Greatly and she just really had that light on what guilt, and shame, and embarrassment, and vulnerability and what all of those things were.

Jessica Armstrong (25:26):

These are things we’re not taught. Like the amount that I know about these specific things now, is incredible because when I read that book, I just had no idea. I really thought I was alone.

Jessica Armstrong (25:39):

And she explains it so well that you’re like, “This is exactly what I’ve been going through.”

Jessica Armstrong (25:45):

And it was one of the first times I really felt connected to other people in that way too and knew I could be more open and vulnerable with others because I think I felt at that moment that other people really needed to hear these things.

Jessica Armstrong (26:03):

Hear what people are going through and how they’re handling them no matter what stage they’re at. I think it’s so important, especially as sisters, that we share these things with each other because such a unique path that we’re all on collectively.

Jessica Armstrong (26:20):

And even though we each have our own internal things, being able to group together and share and see that we really have very similar stories helps us align closer with ourselves as well and helps us learn more about who we are. And it’s really just beautiful, honestly. It’s just my favorite.

McKenzie Raymond (26:47):

I’m so glad that you brought up vulnerability and that book. Shout out Brené Brown and all her books really.

Jessica Armstrong (26:56):

Oh my god.

McKenzie Raymond (26:57):

But something that kind of just clicked for me too, like as you were talking about it, is how vulnerability, I think sometimes we might see or are taught that it is like not — I guess just bringing it back to vulnerability and that it really takes courage and vulnerability to feel your feelings.

McKenzie Raymond (27:21):

Also, it takes vulnerability and courage to own your worth and to say, “Man, I am worth these big dreams. I am deserving of X, Y, and Z.”

McKenzie Raymond (27:36):

And when we become aware that maybe we haven’t been as accepting as we could be in the present moment, I think that even that takes vulnerability.

McKenzie Raymond (27:46):

And to me, like even hearing, “Oh man, I’m not accepting where I am and like here I am thinking I’m doing a good job or trying or like whatever.” And it’s like there’s no shame or guilt in that. Just owning like, “Wow, how vulnerable and courageous of myself to even have big dreams, to even tell my partner about them, to even talk about them.”

McKenzie Raymond (28:09):

And I think when I was in a place when I didn’t own my worth, I didn’t know how worthy and deserving I was. I can think of kind of that rock bottom, like this phase in my life.

McKenzie Raymond (28:20):

And there are still specific women that I so look up to who at that time, like I didn’t feel that I was on the same level as them, but I was holding them. It was like they were the light and I’m like, “Oh my gosh, it’s so cool. Like they have these big dreams, they have these desires.”

McKenzie Raymond (28:39):

And seeing them own their self-worth and show up in that confidence helped me just like provide some evidence that ooh, maybe someday I’ll be more like them.

McKenzie Raymond (28:49):

And at that time in my life, that was enough. I wasn’t able to own that for myself, but to just see other women and people in my lives doing that.

McKenzie Raymond (28:57):

And it’s been so incredible to stay in touch whether it’s through like an email list or social media and get to just see these women like totally crush it and making these things happen.

McKenzie Raymond (29:11):

And just, yeah, it’s so cool because I know that they too probably have seen the transformation in my own life and the work that I’ve been putting in.

McKenzie Raymond (29:20):

So, shout out to all the powerful women owning their worth, claiming their dreams because you are seriously inspiring others.

Jessica Armstrong (29:29):

Oh my God, totally. I am the same way. For me, being able to really own my stuff and own who I am. And yes, there’s days it’s a struggle, but it becomes more and more present is because of other women that I’ve watched own their stuff and really stand up for who they are. And it’s just so authentic and genuine.

Jessica Armstrong (30:00):

And I think it’s that authenticity that us as women really need to see other women show. Often, we will feel that we have to present ourselves a certain way.

Jessica Armstrong (30:13):

I know as somebody who wanted to be a business owner and then became a female business owner, that working with men can sometimes trigger that response of like, “Wow, maybe I’m not this …” It’s like you forget like this is my business and I can make decisions for it.

Jessica Armstrong (30:39):

And I created this amazing business that’s successful and really values its team members and clients because you also, still get some of those things or people try to tell you how to do your business or that you’re not doing something right or can be rude and unkind.

Jessica Armstrong (31:02):

And so, I know for me when I was working with managers that were typically men, I would often want to adjust myself because I wanted to be successful. And I felt that the only way I could be successful was if I was aligned with what I was taught meant success.

Jessica Armstrong (31:28):

Which was just typically white men. And it was typically, no, you don’t want to be emotional, you want to be serious about things, you don’t want to make other people uncomfortable.

Jessica Armstrong (31:39):

And it wasn’t until I got older that I realized that’s really what it was, was that they’re uncomfortable by me showing my strength by being emotional in front of people or having an opinion that is different from theirs.

Jessica Armstrong (31:59):

And me being okay with that and owning it because there’s always a fear, always a fear around it. Because if I do that, am I going to completely destroy my chances of ever being successful?

Jessica Armstrong (32:10):

And that was really my idea even going to college. Like I had to go to college. If I didn’t go to college, I would never be successful.

Jessica Armstrong (32:18):

Well, now, in my late 30s, I’m really seeing all of that for what it is because I think for one, success has a different meaning to me now.

Jessica Armstrong (32:31):

But I also, know that in order for me to be successful in life and business and do what I want to do and be happy on my end and really be able to serve others the way that I want to and the way they deserve to be is I absolutely have to do it authentically and support myself that way, and I cannot live by the societal rules.

Jessica Armstrong (33:00):

And I think that’s becoming more present now, which I love seeing. It’s definitely attractive to me and I think it’s attractive to a lot of others, especially my millennial sisters.

Jessica Armstrong (33:10):

But yeah, I mean, I think that’s the biggest part of it is finding how to shed those beliefs, the limiting beliefs, find your self-worth through the awareness, acceptance, and self-love. And then really showing up for yourself authentically.

McKenzie Raymond (33:30):

Yeah. Here we are, episode two. I’m already crying.

Jessica Armstrong (33:34):

I love it. Love it.

McKenzie Raymond (33:36):

No problem.

Jessica Armstrong (33:37):

Mackenzie has taught me how to be emotional out loud and I love it. It’s amazing. It’s beautiful.

McKenzie Raymond (33:43):

Aw. It helps. Yeah, let it move through just like the fluidity of water.

Jessica Armstrong (33:52):

I love a good cry. I love it. I’ve been crying lately more often and it’s been wonderful.

McKenzie Raymond (33:59):

Oh, first mid-podcast cry. I love it. So, cleansing.

Jessica Armstrong (34:05):

You’re so amazing. Well, before we wrap up here in a few minutes, I wanted to mention a couple of these self-care things that my therapist had mentioned that helps to kind of reset the nervous system.

Jessica Armstrong (34:21):

So, when you’re feeling really anxious or that inner manager is really rushing and it’s not allowing you to have the rest and space you need.

Jessica Armstrong (34:31):

And I wanted to get your opinion on some of these because like the communal meditation, which sounds incredible. It’s not something that’s offered where I am in my town, but I know there’s stuff online.

Jessica Armstrong (34:42):

And the other one was cold exposure, which is basically ice baths or cold dips, which I’ve only done in the Alaska Glacier Bay waters. But it was quite amazing and I definitely felt the benefits from it. But I would love to hear what you have to say about those and if you’ve tried either of them.

McKenzie Raymond (35:03):

Yeah. So, the communal meditation, what is I guess the communal part, is that just like actually meditating in community with others?

Jessica Armstrong (35:11):

Yeah, it’s group meditation.

McKenzie Raymond (35:14):

Okay. Yeah, I mean, so I actually teach a meditation class on Friday mornings. You can join virtually. So, if anyone ever wants to join, you can come listen in for a 45-minute-long meditation. It’s at 8:30 Eastern Time.

McKenzie Raymond (35:29):

But in my experience, meditating, it’s the ultimate practice of acceptance of the present moment.

McKenzie Raymond (35:41):

So, on a personal level, I think really reminding myself like as I’m in it and the thoughts are wandering or my body’s uncomfortable or the construction’s happening next door, like whatever’s going on. It’s connecting with my own breath, finding this place of kind of presence and inner peace, a centeredness.

McKenzie Raymond (36:00):

And also, in my experience of meditation, it has really been a journey of claiming it as enough. Because I might sit through an entire 45-minute-long meditation and feel like, “Wow, that was extremely challenging. And maybe for one breath, I was able to feel present, but other than that I was not right here.”

McKenzie Raymond (36:21):

And to really acknowledge that just sitting down and even trying is enough. And like any art form, meditation definitely takes practice. I think that being able to sit in stillness and silence, it’s pretty much impossible to not feel the feelings.

McKenzie Raymond (36:40):

When I was in my days of using alcohol, I wasn’t able to even like find something like meditation or a yoga class because I probably would’ve just turned into a puddle on the floor, which did happen when I tried cacao.

Jessica Armstrong (36:57):

Oh my gosh. Yeah, cacao will do it though. I’ve been there.

McKenzie Raymond (37:02):

But yeah, I think the power in sitting, I think owning that you are worth the time. Like even if it’s three minutes or 10 minutes of taking some deep breaths and being present with yourself and whatever’s going on.

McKenzie Raymond (37:17):

But on a communal level, it’s always healing to me to hear when we come out of a class, like how my students experienced it. And sometimes those synchronicities or similarities between people’s experiences.

McKenzie Raymond (37:30):

And it’s always just so healing and supportive to be in that community space practicing and trying and holding one another with total acceptance of where we are.

McKenzie Raymond (37:40):

So, in terms of the cold exposure, I also used to dip in the Colorado River and those were my cold baths because we lived right on the river and wow.

Jessica Armstrong (37:51):

I guess I could do that.

McKenzie Raymond (37:53):

Oh my gosh. The first few times it like genuinely took my breath away. And like one of the times I remember it took me so long that finally Reid came to find me and he is like, “Your legs are bright red. Like are you getting in or not?” Because I was just like standing there like making it worse for myself.

McKenzie Raymond (38:14):

But other than that, I’ve never done like an official cold plunge. At the retreat that I’m hosting this fall, there’s going to be a cold plunge. So, I’m excited to test it out. Ambient community because I would expect that like having some other powerful women cheering you on never hurts.

McKenzie Raymond (38:31):

But I did see there’s like — it’s so trendy right now. So, there’s like so much going around. And then it’s like the reels or TikTok … I’m not even on TikTok, but I assume it comes from there where it’s like the trending audio.

McKenzie Raymond (38:44):

And so, anyway, there’s some trending audio going around right now, that talks about how like cocaine basically has this like incredible impact on your system and how long it lasts and how an ice bath is like two times that.

McKenzie Raymond (38:59):

And then instead of peaking in like six minutes, you peak in hours. And it’s like this whole thing of the audio. So, I know that probably was not very specific or helpful, but-

Jessica Armstrong (39:10):

It’s interesting.

McKenzie Raymond (39:11):

… I just turned it like yesterday, and it was that the cold exposure like has that kind of positive effect on your system. And I also, think in my experience, it forced me both meditation and a cold plunge to really sit in the discomfort, to breathe through the discomfort.

McKenzie Raymond (39:29):

So, I would think like doing an ice bath first thing in the morning before you start your day and sitting for a few minutes and breathing into it. Like I would anticipate just feeling so energized and so stable in my own ability to like face whatever’s coming my way.

Jessica Armstrong (39:47):

I think you’re totally right. I think it would be an amazing thing to do like every morning because yeah, that was like in Alaska, I went twice to Glacier Bay. And the first time the tour guide asked if anybody wanted to do it and I said, “I do.” And nobody else wanted to. I was like, “Totally.” I’m always game.

Jessica Armstrong (40:05):

It’s just like in Bali, I was the only one who’d do the selfie with the monkey. And I was like, “Nobody else came here to do that?”

Jessica Armstrong (40:11):

But so, the first time when we jumped in and when we got out, it was just this feeling of complete like, I mean, just like, oh, I felt like my whole body was just being like kissed by the sun and like just these little … oh, it just was so energizing and it felt so good and I felt so great for like the rest of the day.

Jessica Armstrong (40:34):

And so, when I went back the next time, I told everybody that we had to do it and everybody was kind of hesitant. I was like, “No, I did it last time. We have to do it.” And so, I got everybody to go and they’re like, “Oh my gosh, you’re so right.” I’m like, “I know. You have to do it.”

McKenzie Raymond (40:49):

That’s like the highlight I feel like, and how fun. Like I would just love to be in a group where you’re there because I would need that encouragement like I don’t know, but then having the support of other people cheering you on. And I’m sure your excitement got them excited like even if they were a little nervous.

Jessica Armstrong (41:08):

Oh yeah. Well, my excitement’s always like because it was love. Like I’m not going to put you in anything that’s going to hurt or scare you.

McKenzie Raymond (41:18):

Yes. Well, I did think of just kind of another tool, like as we were talking and it was just a simple mantra.

McKenzie Raymond (41:26):

So, mantra stands for mind tool. So, something that you can use for yourself and just tell yourself and repeat it to yourself. Maybe you want to write it on a sticky note and put it by your light switch or in your car.

McKenzie Raymond (41:38):

And I think this goes right in line with everything that we’ve talked about and owning our worth. And the mantra is, I am enough.

Jessica Armstrong (41:50):

Yes. Always enough. I am enough, yes.

McKenzie Raymond (41:55):

I am enough.

Jessica Armstrong (41:56):

And what a great way to end the episode. Perfect mantra. I hope everybody listening can take that on and utilize it for the week. This is a great conversation, focusing, becoming aware on what we’re maybe being using in excess and finding a way to create some moderation around that.

Jessica Armstrong (42:18):

Definitely listening to your inner manager, finding what aligns to you, whether it’s listening to that manager and taking some action or letting it know you need some space from it right now, and to have some rest.

Jessica Armstrong (42:32):

And we all put pressure on ourselves. As a collective, we pressure ourselves. It’s just something that we do, no harm. And being that way in the present, just be aware of it. And how I like to attack it is always with love and it really beats out that shame that we carry.

Jessica Armstrong (42:54):

So, yes, thank you all so much for being here. And we had so many great things to talk about. We can’t wait to talk to you all again. Mackenzie, any other last words?

McKenzie Raymond (43:08):

Just a pleasure. So much fun to chat and share with our listeners, with you. I just genuinely look forward to these times and getting to see where the conversation goes in this organic, beautiful, vulnerable, and authentic way.

McKenzie Raymond (43:24):

So, thank you, thank you. And don’t forget to share this episode. Give us a like or a review if you loved it. Give us a follow over on Instagram. We can’t wait to see you next time.

Jessica Armstrong (43:38):

Thanks, everybody.

McKenzie Raymond (43:42):

This time is precious to you. And because we are insanely joyful that you are spending it with us, we always want to deliver authentic, vulnerability, and dive deep into what we are feeling as a collective.

Jessica Armstrong (43:55):

Our intention is to bring you stories and guests that provide you the opportunity to discover aha moments, so you leave our conversations feeling lighter and knowing what you do today will be good enough.

McKenzie Raymond (44:08):

We love to connect, follow us on social media by following our handles linked in the show notes. If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, rate, review and follow the Good Enough Podcast on Spotify, Apple Music, or your favorite podcast listening app, so you never miss an episode.