9: Emotions: A Tool for Guidance

Jessica Armstrong (00:00):

Welcome to the Good Enough Podcast, a podcast that takes you into a new realm by inviting you to reduce your daily hustle and celebrate yourself right here.

McKenzie Raymond (00:14):

Tune in as we dive deep into vulnerable topics and interview guests who deliver transformative moments to you, our community of individuals healing on a collective journey.

Jessica Armstrong (00:25):

We’ll open up to the art of embodied self-care, and even on the days that you feel like a self-sabotaging rebel …

McKenzie Raymond (00:32):

We’re here to remind you that in this realm, we are all good enough.

McKenzie Raymond (00:35):

Hello everyone. Hello Jessica, welcome back. I am so thrilled to be here with each of you today. We are going to be diving into the topic of emotions and more than that, really uncovering more around how we can use our emotions to guide us because this is an internal guidance system that we each have. And if we’re willing, we can tune in and really allow it to help us to expand or not. So, Jessica, welcome. So happy to be here.

Jessica Armstrong (01:17):

Hi McKenzie, so happy to be here with you. Emotions is always a tough topic, I think, for a lot of people. And how do we utilize them in a way? How do we see them in more positive light and then seeing them negatively or as a burden or something we need to suppress?

Jessica Armstrong (01:39):

And we definitely thought it was going to be a good topic to share with everybody today. And even since McKenzie and I have quite the cosmic connection, we typically find ourselves coming to the same topic idea. And McKenzie texted me last night and mentioned doing a topic around emotional guidance and I just immediately couldn’t believe it because of the last 24 hours I had had right before you sent that.

Jessica Armstrong (02:14):

And so, it ended up being perfect timing and I ended up having a great example for this. And then we’re going to dive into just even more around this and how we can navigate emotions and learn more about ourselves through them.

Jessica Armstrong (02:32):

So, I don’t know if any of you all are used to getting into impulsive situations, but that’s exactly what happened to me. So, my husband and I had talked about getting a dog randomly a while ago, just because we are animal lovers, and we just love to have live things around us all the time. But we have two cats and ducks and that is a lot, especially for me who works from home.

Jessica Armstrong (03:02):

So, when I had mentioned the possibility of having a dog, because I thought it’d be a cool walking buddy, somebody to take to the lake, which I still think it would be, my husband reminded me, “Hey, we got a lot going on.” And he was totally right, a hundred percent. And I was like, “Yes.” And really, I think I told him that to make sure he convinced me of that decision.

Jessica Armstrong (03:25):

So, anyways, the other day it just happened that his coworker had some golden retriever puppies. And when my husband came home and showed me the picture, of course I was like, “Oh my God, I just can’t wait to just go and cuddle these puppies.” And I was like, “Let’s go see them.”

Jessica Armstrong (03:41):

And when we were driving over there, my husband was really excited, and he was talking about maybe making this a thing where we’d actually get the dog. And of course, I was definitely entertaining the idea and I was in a good mood, and I was excited to see puppies. So, I was like, “Maybe we could make it work.” But I was going into it thinking, of course, I’d have some days to think about it.

Jessica Armstrong (04:06):

Well, that didn’t happen because when we were there, for one, I was totally in love with the puppies immediately. And then they were just like, “Yeah, you can just take one now if you’d like.” And I was like, “Oh my gosh.” And I think intuitively, I really needed to have a conversation with my husband privately.

Jessica Armstrong (04:25):

But we were just in a situation with … I didn’t know these people very well. They were really nice, they were definitely golden retriever owners and they have all this land and so it definitely was a paradise for them. And I was just like really wanting to have that one night to think about it.

Jessica Armstrong (04:48):

But of course, the universe had other plans and just the way the situation went down, it was very like, “Take the puppy, get the puppy out. We’re supposed to get rid of the puppies.” Although it did feel like there was a little bit of a misunderstanding there where one of them wanted to keep the puppies and the other one did not.

Jessica Armstrong (05:10):

But either way, we were driving home with this puppy and I’m just like, I think I even said out loud, “Are we actually doing this?” We get home and we’re playing with the puppy and it’s fun and the puppy’s a good dog, but we bring it inside.

Jessica Armstrong (05:28):

Of course, our cats are immediately out of there. They just dip, they’re hidden somewhere, they’re not having any part of it. Which is all too familiar because when we brought our kitten who’s now a little bit over a year home, our other cat reacted the same.

Jessica Armstrong (05:47):

Which I think hit me a little bit in the heart there. Because I hate having to make my current animals feel that uncomfortable, especially in their house. We share a lot of space together, but even so, even before bed and I was still thinking maybe we could make this work. And then at some point during the night, my mind started racing and I could see what that was going to look like for me to take care of the dog.

Jessica Armstrong (06:16):

And how right now I’m working on even getting myself and my current animals in a good routine. Things are starting to feel really more like that, a little bit more easy. And so, I’m just starting to think like, I really don’t want to mess with that this time. It’s a pattern.

Jessica Armstrong (06:38):

I typically find myself in situations like this and somehow convince myself that I’ll be able to deal, I’ll be able to handle it because I have gone through raising baby animals many times and it is quite the process. But then it’s almost like you forget the second everything gets calm.

McKenzie Raymond (07:00):

The second you see a golden retriever puppy.

Jessica Armstrong (07:03):

Oh, my gosh, I know. It’s like all those problems, all those thoughts immediately erased. And I had to wake my husband up because I just couldn’t sit with it because it felt panicky. I mean, I was feeling panic and there was a lot of different things going on. And that’s probably why it felt so erratic because there’s almost this heartbreaking feeling, this guilty feeling, these old feelings of not feeling good enough. Because look at me, I can’t handle this other thing.

Jessica Armstrong (07:33):

And so, here I am talking to my partner and he’s half asleep and I’m just ranting to him about all of my concerns. And he’s like, “Oh,” and he doesn’t give the best response at the time, which is understandable and given the situation, but it put me into a really big emotional — it’s almost hard to even explain.

Jessica Armstrong (07:56):

It’s like I just started sobbing and I hadn’t really felt even that kind of sobbing since the last time I lost somebody close to me, and it was a lot. I think Travis has probably only seen me cry like that one other time and it was many years ago. Not to say that I didn’t need it, I’m sure that’s exactly something that I needed, but it definitely felt a lot like grieving.

Jessica Armstrong (08:21):

It felt a lot like I am doing something that I’m not used to. I’m used to wanting to kind of fold and stick with this because I certainly don’t want to tell somebody I can’t handle this other thing. And I don’t want to take the joy away from my husband, but he also doesn’t have the time to commit the 50% that I would need. And then for me, I want to be the best dog parent I can be.

Jessica Armstrong (08:51):

I don’t want the dog to have to change to adapt to our current lifestyle. I want to be something that we are able to adapt with together. So, I basically was like, it’s not going to work out. And we let her know, the coworker know, and she was understandable about it and we gave the dog back, and it felt immediately like just the weight was lifted.

Jessica Armstrong (09:17):

The second Travis was like, “That’s fine, let’s give it back. You are valid in your feelings and having to take care of this animal.” And I mean, after that it just felt so much better. But the reason we don’t do that often is because of that fear of what that outcome is going to be and how we’re going to be looked at, how are we going to look at ourselves?

Jessica Armstrong (09:42):

And for me to be able to come out of that knowing that I can look at myself and say that I made a good decision and not beat myself up for changing my mind within a small period of time and being able to accept that, “Hey, maybe I did jump into something pretty quickly and maybe I should have said something then, but I didn’t and that’s okay.” Because what came out of it is also rewarding. And I did get to learn more about myself and my ability to understand and be with my emotions.

McKenzie Raymond (10:20):

Oh, my gosh. Well, thank you for sharing the story and I really want to acknowledge you for using that inner guidance system for honoring your emotions and not going, “Oh, well I don’t want to disappoint whoever else outside of myself,” or whatever would come with kind of the letdown of really if you did give this puppy back, but staying so true to yourself and speaking up and honoring what you needed.

McKenzie Raymond (10:52):

And what I really hear is it felt like you used the word panicky and it felt like you really didn’t have a choice in a sense. Your emotional guidance system, I was like, “Hello, you are not getting a good night’s sleep tonight. Are you kidding me, you have a puppy to take back.”

McKenzie Raymond (11:12):

And I think that, one of my lessons with my emotions is really seeing the gift and that guidance and seeing the gift in sometimes more subtle feelings and emotions and the intense panicky, sobbing your eyes out hyperventilating ones. Because really it is a gift that we each have to be able to tune in and let our emotions guide us if we’re willing and open. So, I really want to acknowledge you for doing that and for providing this beautiful example for each of us today.

Jessica Armstrong (11:47):

Thank you. And I love to be able to provide examples, especially when I do learn even more about myself through them. And yeah, it definitely felt like that decision had been made and it was poking at me like this was … I had to come to the right conclusion and you also kind of see how things can — because it did feel very universal that this dog was kind of even put upon us in the way that it was.

Jessica Armstrong (12:19):

But I was able to see that I can still trust my intuition and make decisions after the fact or see how things, maybe the signs that I was thinking I was getting weren’t necessarily the ones that I was supposed to receive. And being able to see it that way afterwards. And that’s what we’re going to talk a lot about today, is really how much you can learn about even just yourself through accessing your emotions that way.

McKenzie Raymond (12:49):

Yeah, absolutely. And I want to just also, one last thing about your story really spotlight you for feeling and allowing yourself to go there with your emotions because I know that it is something that you have really been dedicated to in your own practice lately. And so, I want to acknowledge you for that and for sobbing it out and letting those tears run down your face and screaming into a pillow or whatever that looked like.

McKenzie Raymond (13:17):

Just allowing yourself that space because I really believe in the backfire it can have if we don’t allow ourself that. And what can happen if you still had that puppy here with you right now, so I really want to just acknowledge you for feeling the emotions even when they’re ugly and snotty.

Jessica Armstrong (13:38):

Yeah. And even being able to do it while my husband was there was, even that was … as long as we’ve been together, I still like am getting used to crying and sobbing openly in front of him.

McKenzie Raymond (13:52):

Yeah, definitely. That takes a lot of courage and vulnerability. And really, what I hear bottom line from your story is how you’re using this example in your life where it felt like the universe almost saying, “Here, take this puppy. It’s really easy.” And then-

Jessica Armstrong (14:10):

So, easy.

McKenzie Raymond (14:11):

Allowed you to get more clear on, well really what is my desire, which is not this puppy right now. And so, I think when we are open to letting our emotions guide us, we can either enjoy the emotion we’re in or let it help us learn about ourselves or decide maybe how we’ll do it differently next time or-

Jessica Armstrong (14:33):

And that’s so juicy. I love when things come out like that and you’re able to kind of see things that way. I just love it.

McKenzie Raymond (14:41):

Absolutely. Oh, it’s so good.

Jessica Armstrong (14:46):

Before you continue on with that thought, I’d love to take a moment to talk to you about the bliss-inducing elixir that we’ve both become quite familiar with. I’m talking about the heart-opening drink cacao.

McKenzie Raymond (14:59):

Yes, my love cacao. Cacao is a superfood and also the purest form of chocolate. The ceremonial drink has been used by Mesoamerican civilizations in sacred ceremony for thousands of years. In fact, cacao is considered to be of divine origin and the cacao tree was often revered as a conduit between heaven and earth.

Jessica Armstrong (15:21):

In addition to the spiritual significance of cacao, it contains many healing properties that provide feelings of stimulation and joy.

McKenzie Raymond (15:30):

While Soul Lift Cacao provides a variety of direct trade cacao products, I’m biased towards Heart of the Earth blend because during my time in Lake Atitlan in Guatemala, I had the privilege of visiting this incredible women’s collective and feeling the love that is infused from bean to block.

Jessica Armstrong (15:47):

I know you’ve used cacao, mostly ceremonial, and I enjoy using cacao even to supplement my caffeine intake. Not only does cacao provide me with a more grounded stimulation, but I love knowing that my purchase is going directly towards supporting indigenous communities.

McKenzie Raymond (16:04):

Use the link in our show notes to purchase your own ceremonial-grade cacao today. Be sure to use our code good enough at checkout to support the show and receive a discount. Stay tuned for opportunities to indulge in this incredible medicine collectively with our virtual cacao ceremonies coming soon.

McKenzie Raymond (16:26):

So, yeah, I wanted to bring up just kind of before we dive a little bit deeper into emotions as a whole, just kind of something that I have come to find helpful in my own life. And it’s the idea that emotions are energy in motion and so really it’s a pretty simple concept, but allowing emotions to flow through us as we would any other energy.

McKenzie Raymond (16:52):

So, with that, I would love to introduce someone who has kind of been a monumental person in my own understanding of emotions and using emotions as guidance, and that is Abraham Hicks.

Jessica Armstrong (17:09):

Yes.

McKenzie Raymond (17:10):

So, Abraham Hicks, of course, both Jessica and I were divinely aligned in this aspect as well. We had the exact same concepts picked out for the episode. So, when we connected it was just really fun to get to see, “Oh, yep. Okay, we’re right on the same page.”

Jessica Armstrong (17:28):

I’m like, “Here, this is so good from Abraham Hicks.” And you’re like, “Oh yeah, that’s nice to have.”

McKenzie Raymond (17:33):

So, good. So, just briefly, like a quick introduction, Abraham Hicks is channeled by Esther Hicks. So, Esther and her husband Jerry Hicks have written multiple books. They actually do tours, live shows, which is on my list, my dream list. And you can find Abraham Hicks recordings really on YouTube, Spotify, anywhere.

McKenzie Raymond (17:59):

And it is channeled guidance from, I would say source or yep, I think they used the word source because they talk about how God already kind of changes some people’s feelings or perspectives or perceptions around what is being said. So, just a brief outline of kind of who Abraham Hicks is and where these teachings come from.

Jessica Armstrong (18:25):

Beautiful. I love what she has around this idea of emotional guidance and her emotional guidance scale, which really shows your highest vibrations and your lowest vibrations. And it’s basically joy, empowerment, love at the top.

Jessica Armstrong (18:45):

And then you have fear, grief, desperation, which are down at the bottom, which I always find really interesting because a lot of these that are down here at the bottom are things that we learn as we grow up. Things such as hate, rage, insecurities, unworthiness, things like that. So, a lot of us are starting from these points on this scale and we’re working to find opportunities to guide us so we can find ourselves in that top area of the scale more often.

McKenzie Raymond (19:28):

As a visual learner, I find this so helpful to be able to see kind of what’s at the bottom as you were mentioning some of those traits and attributes and then the progression upwards. Because I know in my own life, joy, and bliss and love, those are the ultimate emotions that I am wanting to embody more, but the progression from that place of fear or grief, and I think seeing, like what really interested me is up on number nine is pessimism, next one is boredom and then next is contentment and then it moves into hopefulness.

McKenzie Raymond (20:05):

And so, I saw the word boredom and it stuck out to me because it’s something that sometimes I experience in my life. And so, I was curious what is around that? And it’s one step below becomes pessimism, which I think I am a totally optimistic person, so that’s so interesting to me.

McKenzie Raymond (20:29):

And then above that is contentment, which is something that I have been actively working on as I talk about things like fully accepting what is that is contentment to me. So, so fun, I love learning along as we’re doing these things.

Jessica Armstrong (20:44):

And it’s interesting too that you pointed those out because the idea of boredom, we often, or I’ve been thinking about that idea of true boredom a lot because we have so many ways to distract us, like getting a puppy, but really the value is in that true boredom and finding the contentment within that, which that’s why when that hopefulness comes up, because your creativity actually really turns on pretty high when you’re in that true boredom space.

Jessica Armstrong (21:23):

For me, if I don’t have my things around me to distract me, I can find myself doing something much more interesting. It’s just I don’t always give myself the chance to get to that point where I am bored and contented. But when you’re really losing that idea of hopefulness and optimism, you have to pass through this true boredom. And it’s interesting to even look at it that way, going from being over overwhelmed to frustrated to pessimistic.

Jessica Armstrong (22:01):

So, you are now to the point where your next step has to be boredom because you have to let go of all of these things that are creating this overwhelmingness and this frustration. And everybody, we are going to share the link to this in our show notes, so you can see the visual as well.

Jessica Armstrong (22:23):

But it is, it’s really interesting to think of it that way. These are literally ladders and steps all the way up. So, it’s a process that you’re actually seeing in front of you and you can go through these within a short period of time or a long period of time. And we can all be on different levels of this scale from each other as well. But I love the way that you expressed that.

McKenzie Raymond (22:50):

So interesting. I love just being able to see that. And I think part of being able to even tune in enough and say, “So what am I feeling?” Is in that slowing down, which I know we’ve talked about many times before, but slowing down the momentum.

McKenzie Raymond (23:09):

Like even in your example of getting a puppy, what I heard is pretty much every year you would get a cat or another couple of ducks or introducing this new energy in where really where you’re at is without the puppy contentment, I would say. And then it’s like you’re maybe teetering on, “Oh, well are you going to become bored there?”

McKenzie Raymond (23:31):

But I think just the slowing down so that it’s like, I really think of it like in that space of slowing down, we are feeling comfortable and safe, so we are able to be in that more feminine, creative space where really our feelings and emotions live.

Jessica Armstrong (23:53):

And I was able to, through the slowing down, you’re able to recognize how you’re programmed as well. I was able to see how I am programmed in how I can shift that because yeah, when you notice that, wow, every time I am maybe feeling content or maybe there’s a possible boredom, there’s some part of me that doesn’t want me to get to that next step, which is this positive joy.

Jessica Armstrong (24:22):

Because honestly adding that other piece in would bring me back down to frustration and overwhelming. And that was the thing that I had to make sure I didn’t do again, because I’m ready to go further on this ladder and see what’s next past this just contentment and just this pause and really teaching myself again and reminding myself again that to just be in the present with what you have, but that those old patterns can come up. And now I know that I can really identify that, identify what triggers it and be able to work through it so that I come to the best decision or that’s right for me at the time.

McKenzie Raymond (25:10):

Yeah, absolutely. Well, I would love to just kind of grow off what you were just sharing around your own awareness of your own emotions and how you can use that awareness to grow and learn more about yourself. And there was this study done from a psychologist at UCLA and there was this concept that psychologists had long believed that people who talk about their feelings have more control over them, but they never really understood why or the science behind it.

McKenzie Raymond (25:48):

So, this psychologist at UCLA did a study where he hooked up 30 of his colleagues to MRI machines and they studied the brain to reveal which parts were active and inactive at any given moment. And so, they asked the subjects to look at pictures of male or female faces making emotional expressions. And below the photos was a choice of words describing the emotions such as angry or fearful. And in addition to two possible names for the people in the pictures, one male and one female name.

McKenzie Raymond (26:22):

And so, from there these subjects were asked to pick the most appropriate emotion and gender appropriate name to fit the face that they saw. So, when the participants chose labels for the negative emotions, activity in the right ventral lateral prefrontal cortex region, an area associated with thinking and words about emotional experiences became more active. Whereas activity in the amygdala, brain region involved in emotional processing was calmed.

McKenzie Raymond (26:54):

By contrast, when the subjects picked appropriate names for the faces, the brain scans revealed none of these changes indicating that only emotional labeling makes a difference. So, they describe this like when you’re hitting the brake pedal in your car, when you see a red light or a yellow light, and they say that when you put feelings into words, you seem to be hitting the brakes on your emotional responses.

McKenzie Raymond (27:22):

And I think this is something to highlight because I know we’ve talked about the idea of being able to play witness to our own selves, to our own emotions. And I think this again, beautifully demonstrates this in a study that was done, that it goes on to talk about how meditation and other mindfulness techniques are really designed to help people pay more emotion to their present emotions, sensations, thoughts.

McKenzie Raymond (27:52):

And by just in slowing down and creating the space to acknowledge and name it, it automatically kind of tames it. So, yeah, our ability to name our emotions and I think just in naming them, there is an understanding because we no longer just feel a certain way and maybe feel totally out of control or like it’s something almost outside of us, but we can name it.

McKenzie Raymond (28:23):

And like you were saying with our own awareness, go, “Oh, maybe in the past I’ve done this, but now I know this and I’m going to do it differently moving forward.” So, I thought that study was really interesting.

Jessica Armstrong (28:37):

When I took public speaking in college, the professor told us, “When you’re nervous, start your speech off with, “Hey everybody, I’m really nervous today.” And I loved it and it was kind of, it was that concept before I really even knew kind of what that idea was. But naming that you’re nervous, even sharing it with people that you’re nervous takes a lot of the intensity off of it.

Jessica Armstrong (29:06):

I’ve also heard, nervousness can be a similar vibration to excitement and maybe even thinking about how you can transmute that into a more positive way. But yeah, acknowledging it, especially to people in the same space as you can be really helpful to your partner. It can be just as important as even saying it to yourself.

Jessica Armstrong (29:28):

But for me, when I’m able to be honest about how I feel to somebody and be able to say this emotion, like I’m really feeling frustrated right now and I’m able to have a better conversation after I mention that.

McKenzie Raymond (29:45):

Absolutely. It’s so powerful that we can do this for ourselves. And I think that is the gift in it if we’re willing to, and to know that the more that we can bring, I think unconditional love and acceptance to ourselves in all of them, even when they are maybe those heavier feeling emotions, that’s what it’s all about. We’re not asking ourselves to name these emotions that we can move right out of them. Or we’re not saying, “Oh, I never want to feel this way again,” maybe in the moment it really feels that way.

McKenzie Raymond (30:17):

But it is this guidance system that is allowing us to change or move when we’re ready, but it’s not about that. It’s about loving and accepting ourselves right there in it. And I think that’s what I really want to highlight. Again, back to Abraham Hicks, she says that our inner being knows where we stand in relationship to everything that we want and knows the path of least resistance.

McKenzie Raymond (30:44):

And so, she talks about how when we are experiencing the flow, we’re really letting go of even having to feel happy or joyful all the time. And we’re allowing ourselves to be in whatever it is that we’re in with ourselves and experiencing that juicy, delicious, sometimes heartbreaking place.

Jessica Armstrong (31:08):

Chaotic, yeah. All kinds, all the stuff, all the juicy stuff. Before we continue this magical conversation, we want to invite you to a very special sister support circle.

McKenzie Raymond (31:21):

We understand the holidays can be a high-stress time and often the hardest time to feel our enoughness. Take a break from the pressures of the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday and put yourself first to practice gratitude in sacred circle with us.

Jessica Armstrong (31:34):

McKenzie and I have combined our skills as life coaches and group mentors to create a safe, supportive experience that will allow you to find healing and joy no matter where you are or who you’re with.

McKenzie Raymond (31:45):

This live and free virtual event is open to anyone finding themselves strained by the burdening weight of the upcoming celebrations. During our gratitude sister support circle, you will learn easy exercises to enhance your mindset during the busy holiday season.

McKenzie Raymond (31:58):

This is your invitation into our realm where we are all good enough. Sign up today and join us on Tuesday, November 21st for a 90-minute virtual sister circle. And start the holiday with a fresh dose of joy, support, and empowerment. Use the link in the show notes to secure your spot today. We can’t wait to celebrate with you.

Jessica Armstrong (32:16):

And for me, with that is we ultimately have to let down our restrictions with emotions that these things, these walls that we’ve built up for ourselves. Growing up suppressing my emotions was a really important survival skill for my parts at the time.

Jessica Armstrong (32:39):

And they felt like the only way to not make other people uncomfortable, or for me to be able to do well at work or get promoted, just everything. There’s so many things that were instilled in me that hiding and holding my emotions in was much more important.

Jessica Armstrong (33:02):

When really people are just saying that because other people are uncomfortable with you expressing your emotions. And I understand that because we’re all coming from this same idea, this collective idea that emotions are not meant to be expressed as big as they really should be.

Jessica Armstrong (33:24):

So, here we are, a lot of us in survival mode, we’re suppressing these emotions. And something I really learned when I was in Bali and it’s very Eastern medicine idea, is around the chronic mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, anger, these things that we feel regularly are coming from a place of suppressed emotions because they’re creating toxicity within us.

Jessica Armstrong (33:56):

And we start to feel it physically. And we almost are restricting all other emotions by only being able to have this depression, these negative, overwhelming, stressful emotions or mental behavior. And for me to come out of those things, the depression, anxiety, what helped me the most was being able to work with a therapist, do IFS, work with somebody for Ayurvedic purposes so that I understand my body’s needs better.

Jessica Armstrong (34:36):

And really getting myself healthy that way has worked so much better than trying to be on a medication that’s supposed to help with that. It’ll dial it down, but it’ll never get rid of it because the idea that these things are chronic is because it’s something that we are holding onto.

Jessica Armstrong (34:58):

It’s something that we have not released. It’s something that has not been healed or treated in a way that we can pass through it because the emotions are part of the process and we have to be able to let them flow. Just like if we think of it as energy and just we have to let that, if anything kind of detox us.

McKenzie Raymond (35:19):

Totally.

Jessica Armstrong (35:21):

Detoxify us.

McKenzie Raymond (35:22):

Yeah. And traditional Chinese medicine Yin yoga, any of disease is really closely related to our different meridian points and our vital organs. So, each of our vital organs has this kind of energetic pathway. And the idea is that, yeah, disease occurs when there’s not that fluidity and the flow of energy. And I believe that suppressing our emotions really impacts us on all levels, physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.

McKenzie Raymond (35:57):

And what you had mentioned was the way that you’re choosing to do it is to get to the root to understand yourself better, you have the desire to do it differently, to not kind of put a Band-Aid on it and then go, “Well, what is this now,” but to really kind of take that responsibility and integrate the healing into your practices in your daily life.

Jessica Armstrong (36:24):

And also, another thing around that idea of having a better connection and understanding of emotions so that we don’t feel so pressured around how we’re releasing them or how others may see them, or to take them away from kind of this, “Oh, it’s only me feeling this way. Oh, I’m the one who’s being dramatic. Or why am I only frustrated?”

Jessica Armstrong (36:50):

A lot of ways that I’ve been able to find connection with other people around that is through astrology, understanding how just the way the moon moves, the way the planets align themselves, how that can create energy that can affect the collective as well as seasons.

Jessica Armstrong (37:13):

From a very ancestral type of way, we naturally are supposed to move along with them and be releasing or being more creative at certain times. And even that can change even during the day. So, it’s really hearing about that and sharing that with other people and hearing how, “Oh, well we all feel a little overwhelmed right now.” It just creates this connection around emotions so that we don’t feel so alone with them.

McKenzie Raymond (37:48):

Absolutely. Connecting around some of those collective ideas and just sharing in our stories, because I find that just like you and I, how we so often have these cosmic up times or we’re totally on the same page that I hear that and it feels so good to know, okay, we’re all, like you said, going through something together.

McKenzie Raymond (38:10):

And you mentioned the seasons too. And I think more specifically for women as well, to understand their phases of their moon phase and how they need to be honoring their emotions and how they need to be honoring their rest. Or maybe they’re in their creative phase and they need to be producing and creating and feeling that energy.

McKenzie Raymond (38:31):

So, I think the more that we can honor that for ourselves, it does become easier and it becomes more accessible. I think something that has really helped me as I have gotten more in touch with my own emotional guidance system is to ask myself powerful questions.

McKenzie Raymond (38:51):

So, being able to tune inward and really ask myself one of my favorite things in a heightened emotional state that I think is the most powerful thing for me to do is to practice self-care. So, asking myself the simple question of what do I need or what do I need next. And knowing that whatever comes is enough and practicing like following through on that self-care.

McKenzie Raymond (39:19):

And I’m not talking about going to get a manicure or whatever I’m talking about sobbing it out or doing a couple yoga poses or taking a walk in nature. Just yeah, some of these more integrated practices, I would say. And asking myself, so in addition to what do I need, I would say in a more emotional filled situation, maybe asking myself, “Is this mine?”

McKenzie Raymond (39:46):

Because as we’re interacting with other people, Jessica, in your example, feeling maybe the letdown even of the two people who were trying to give you guys the dog or feeling the emotions of your husband and asking yourself, which it sounds like you did, and you stayed very true to what was true for you by asking yourself, “Is this mine?” I heard that you didn’t take on the emotions of everyone else and you were really able to kind of stay in your lane and be like, “This is what I need, is to get this dog back.”

McKenzie Raymond (40:23):

And so, some of those questions where it’s like really this introspection, getting to better strengthen that voice that is your inner guidance saying, “I need a few deep breaths, or actually this isn’t mine.” Being able to, I think for me, almost remove myself a little bit from the situation I’m in.

Jessica Armstrong (40:47):

Absolutely. The idea of being able to say, “Is this mine,” is a big deal because we do tend to focus so much on our own situation. And being able to say that maybe the puppy never belonged to us in the first place, it always belonged there. And things like that is that this is all happening to us as a collective and what happens to us individually, we have to be connected to our intuition and our emotional guidance in a big way.

Jessica Armstrong (41:25):

And I think being able to sit with the emotions and learn from them and yeah, the powerful questions is just such a great tool. And you get so much closer to your natural intuition that it pulls out this confidence and you continue to get closer to who you are authentically, and it is really magical.

Jessica Armstrong (41:50):

And then when you do start feeling joy, as Abraham Hicks mentions it, it’s the type of energy that attracts, it’s going to bring in what you desire, and that’s going to be where you can manifest. So, again, it takes time and I think it’s so important to understand the process is really where all of that good stuff comes from.

McKenzie Raymond (42:18):

I think asking myself some of these more powerful questions and just in my own journey of exploring all the different edges of my emotions, I’ve also become more aware around my own thoughts or perceptions of different emotions.

McKenzie Raymond (42:37):

So, some of these aren’t even things that I necessarily created, but what’s like a societal thought around what it means when someone’s crying or what it means when someone’s enthused, and I think getting to better understand my own thoughts around emotions.

McKenzie Raymond (42:57):

A great example is, in the past, I remember I was just such an annoying preteen. I think most of us probably were but anytime that my mom would get emotional in a movie or anything, we would just make fun of her. We would pretend-cry, we had this ongoing joke that she would tear up at a Hallmark commercial and so that became a thing.

McKenzie Raymond (43:22):

So, then I almost adopted that like, oh, it’s embarrassing to cry. And so, for a long time I prevented myself from feeling those emotions because I had all these thoughts about them. But now, if you know me now, I’ve definitely changed that pattern. And I think using the medicine of cacao has really helped me, a natural heart opener.

McKenzie Raymond (43:46):

But I really see crying or being emotional as a vulnerability and as a strength, and that it takes courage, and we get to really choose our thoughts around emotions. We don’t get to control our emotions, but we can choose how we want to interact with them, I think. How we want to respond to them.

McKenzie Raymond (44:08):

I had just one other example of a friend who is super fit and strong and we were visiting, and I had just done a workout the day before and I said something just kind of in passing to myself of like, “Oh, I’m so sore.” I think I went to lift something. I’m like, “Oh, I’m so sore.”

McKenzie Raymond (44:29):

And I say it like kind of with this dread. And she’s like, “Oh, I know. Isn’t that the best feeling.” And ever since that, I’m like, “It is,” I did that for myself and I get to choose that wow, when I’m so sore that I can barely walk up the stairs, that that gets to be a good thing. And that was so powerful for me.

Jessica Armstrong (44:52):

I love that. I love that she was able to bring that forth for you because yeah, I try to give off that energy as much as possible when I’m around people. Because I think I want to just express positivity in a gentle way. And that was so genuine and so amazing, and I love that because I think it really trickles out and you were able to be like, yeah. Because we can turn that negativity into positive stuff. And I know that’s not always easy, but we can.

Jessica Armstrong (45:31):

You taught me how to do that really well back in the day when we were coaching together. And it was being able to kind of create that table of these negative thoughts and then being able to change them into positive thoughts.

Jessica Armstrong (45:46):

And then really being able to see how easily just changing the words you were using really created a shift, a mindset shift. And practicing that got to a point where eventually my mind was just naturally working that way. So, it just looks for the positive side of things. It’s very rare that I stay in anything negative for very long.

McKenzie Raymond (46:13):

And I’m so glad you brought up patience. Because that is such a part of all of these discussions that we have and the topics that we’re discussing is patience. Being able to practice these things, messing up, forgetting, knowing that that’s enough too, and that you get to try it again differently next time.

McKenzie Raymond (46:34):

But I’m just so glad you mentioned patience as well because I have caught myself so many times feeling sore and going, ugh. And then remembering that conversation and being like, “Ugh, what a gift.” And so, kind of reframing that.

McKenzie Raymond (46:48):

And yeah, the table that you brought up of, it’s not only thoughts, but it’s really any of the heavy or negative thoughts, feelings or emotions, experiences even. And then it’s really creating the, I’m not, I can’t, I don’t know, I don’t have into that more empowered place of I am, I can, I know, I have.

McKenzie Raymond (47:12):

And getting to choose, like you said, flipping that focus from dread or despair into joy and excitement, or however that looks for you.

Jessica Armstrong (47:24):

I think those are so important for women especially too, those kind of acknowledgement, validation type sentences that we say to ourselves. Those I can, I am, I have, that’s a really good one. Let’s remind ourselves what we have done, let’s celebrate what we do every day.

Jessica Armstrong (47:45):

That even if it seems like it’s not a celebration or it’s small, being able to see it in that positive light and being able to validate yourself in that way. It’s really, I mean, honestly, life changing. Because your mindset does begin to change in a magical way.

McKenzie Raymond (48:07):

Well, on that note, I would love to end with the celebration of you and of each of our listeners and of myself for honoring our emotions, for letting our emotions be our guide, even when it’s uncomfortable or difficult, and for doing this type of work.

McKenzie Raymond (48:29):

Introspection, just asking yourself these questions, being curious, being open-minded. I want to celebrate each of us really for our journey to right where we are. Because right here, where we are today is enough. And what a gift that we each can tune inward and just continue to learn and grow.

Jessica Armstrong (48:49):

Thank you so much for that. So true. Thank you to everybody and we’ll see you next time.

McKenzie Raymond (48:57):

Love you.

Jessica Armstrong (48:58):

Love you.

McKenzie Raymond (49:02):

We know this time is precious to you and because we are insanely joyful that you are spending it with us, we always want to deliver authentic vulnerability and dive deep into what we are feeling as a collective.

Jessica Armstrong (49:14):

Our intention is to bring you stories and guests that provide you the opportunity to discover aha moments so you leave our conversations feeling lighter and knowing what you do today will be good enough.

McKenzie Raymond (49:27):

We love to connect, follow us on social media by following our handles linked in the show notes. If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, rate, review and follow The Good Enough podcast on Spotify, Apple Music, or your favorite podcast listening app, so you never miss an episode.