16: Wholeness: Feeling Enough from Within

[Music Playing]

Jessica Armstrong (00:00):

Welcome to The Good Enough Podcast, a podcast that takes you into a new realm by inviting you to reduce your daily hustle and celebrate yourself right here.

McKenzie Raymond (00:14):

Tune in as we dive deep into vulnerable topics and interview guests who deliver transformative moments to you, our community of individuals healing on a collective journey.

Jessica Armstrong (00:25):

We’ll open up to the art of embodied self-care, and even on the days that you feel like a self-sabotaging rebel …

McKenzie Raymond (00:32):

We’re here to remind you that in this realm, we are all good enough.

McKenzie Raymond (00:38):

The views expressed on this episode as with all episodes of The Good Enough Podcast are solely host and guest opinions.

Jessica Armstrong (00:45)

This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice and is for entertainment purposes only.

Jessica Armstrong (00:54):

Hello, hello everyone and welcome again to The Good Enough Podcast. You’re here with me, Jessica and McKenzie. Hey, how are you?

McKenzie Raymond (01:04):

Hey, Jessica. Hello everyone. I am fabulous. Super happy to be here talking about another amazing topic today and getting to just dive in with you, Jessica.

Jessica Armstrong (01:16):

Yes, yes. We are in the theme of the holidays, and what comes up for some of us and when we may be not in our necessarily our regular home or safe space, when we’re moving around a little bit and around people who we may not see often, there’s this uncomfortableness that may come up and we want to talk about how we can feel at home within ourselves, regardless of where we are and who we are around.

McKenzie Raymond (01:48):

Yes. This is honestly something that I feel like has been such a huge part of my personal journey. It’s something that I think when I hear the phrase “home for the holidays,” I think, or used to think quite literally about what that meant. And this year when I heard it, I’m like, “Wow, home for the holidays. What a great invitation to find home within ourself, not just during the holidays, but all the time.”

McKenzie Raymond (02:16):

And I think when we are in those environments that maybe the holidays are asking us to move into, if we feel more at home within ourself, I think that there might just be more ease and a little bit more enjoyment in those environments. So, we’re going to talk about some of those tips today and just kind of more about our personal experiences with this topic.

Jessica Armstrong (02:40):

Absolutely. The first thing that really came to my mind too is this idea of how our safety, where we want … it’s such a natural human need to feel safe. So, it’s understandable that we have places that we feel the safest. And it’s usually this place that we spend our alone time or maybe invite our friends in. And this is where we feel like we can be vulnerable and feel really ourselves the most.

Jessica Armstrong (03:14):

And I was thinking about how, for me, I am a real nester around my house. Even though I love traveling and I’m a real journeyman, I do love nesting in my home. And maybe it’s because this is my first home, and it’s just me and my husband, we don’t have roommates. So, it feels even more safe and comfortable and it’s more space for me, but I really make it cozy.

Jessica Armstrong (03:42):

And I was reading an article about this woman who she was really touching on that and utilizing the hygge method, which is a type of design really for your home. It’s a cozy, it’s a Danish way of living. It’s meant to make you feel cozy and more inward.

Jessica Armstrong (04:06):

And she was really utilizing that to make her new apartment feel that way after leaving a space that felt very tension-filled, which I know what that’s like. That’s how my home felt. And especially as an adult spending a lot of that time with roommates, there was always this kind of unspoken tension around which can feel really unsafe. So, it resonated with her wanting to make this new apartment that way.

Jessica Armstrong (04:34):

And then I also resonated with the fact that when she leaves her home and she has to experience traffic or getting on the subway or going to the store and being around others, that all of a sudden, that safety and that comfort’s not there.

Jessica Armstrong (04:53):

And I know for me, there’s been times in my life where I really would utilize my comfy zone to not go out. So, I would hide and it would give me a reason to avoid. Because I’m like, well, I feel I’m most comfortable here. But obviously, even after you do that for a while — I think a lot of us can relate to the time with COVID around this.

Jessica Armstrong (05:18):

When you feel like you’ve been inside your home for a long time, perspectives and things just start to feel really off. You feel really disconnected, and the outside gets a little scarier. So, it’s really important that we’re keeping that connection.

Jessica Armstrong (05:38):

And that’s why it’s really important that we find a way to feel like that, feel that safety within ourselves so that we can navigate the world outside and connect more with people and still feel like we’re acting on the side of our authentic self and finding more joy and happiness out of it.

McKenzie Raymond (06:01):

It’s so beautiful to just hear this perspective of not only is home, this place that we do get to create, and I totally feel the coziness and the warmth that when you talk about how you’re nesting, it’s just you and your husband. Because I know that I will get there someday and just I can envision already some of the things that I want to do and how I want to create that space, and just really make it feel more like mine. Because like you were saying, then we can feel more comfortable and vulnerable in that space.

McKenzie Raymond (06:36):

But I also love how you took it to that next step with this idea that really home beyond that, is an internal job. It’s this woman had created this beautiful, comfy environment, but then was almost shocked, I feel like. Because her nervous system maybe had the extreme of like, “Wow, I’m so relaxed, I’m so nested here that it can feel really scary.”

McKenzie Raymond (07:02):

And I think that’s even such a great representation of enough, because if we have too much of that comfy energy, it can become kind of that dragging, stagnant, lazy feeling. But I think also, being able to bring that into this world that often feels chaotic and loud and pulling with energy. So, it’s like how do we find that moderation and that middle ground?

McKenzie Raymond (07:28):

And I think this is something that I know for myself, I struggled with for years. This was the idea of finding home outside of myself was something that I really seriously thought that I was going to find. And it wasn’t until I really started doing more of the inner work that I recognized that home is more of a state of being and that I can bring that with me regardless of where my feet are touching down. I learned most of this through traveling the world.

McKenzie Raymond (08:03):

And I think it’s important to note that I think a lot of the people who maybe know me or who have seen my life during that time, I looked totally happy, I would say from the outside. It was like yeah, I was living this bigger dream of traveling the world. That was all I ever wanted.

McKenzie Raymond (08:21):

But the reality of it is that, I would go to these places and really, instead of being present there, I would try and envision like, “Could I live here?” And so, as I’m envisioning that, I’m kind of stealing the present moment from myself. And I’m also really not even feeling comfortable in myself in that moment.

McKenzie Raymond (08:40):

Because I’m looking towards that. I’m like, “Who could I be in this place? Do I fit in here?” And it was like everywhere I want. And so, I mean, now I can see why that would probably be exhausting because I’m searching. Now, I can see how I was really searching for the place that was giving me permission to be who I wanted to be.

McKenzie Raymond (09:02):

It was like I had to find the environment that was conducive to my growth and it wasn’t until I recognized that actually, I needed to be doing that for myself every day in these simple, seemingly small acts that really helped me build this stability and foundation.

McKenzie Raymond (09:25):

So, regardless of where I go, whether I’m traveling home for the holidays or across the world for a retreat, it’s like I can really feel stable and secure within myself. And honestly, it started with just … like it really started with slowing down.

Jessica Armstrong (09:43):

And taking kind of time to scan everything, and see, “What am I doing this for? What am I getting out of this?” Because travel speaks to me as well. And it’s funny, it’s the way that you even talked about that really resonated because as you were kind of talking out that visualization of being almost nomadic and you’re really — that all we ever wanted.

Jessica Armstrong (10:14):

I think there’s this moment that a lot of … I know a lot of women counterparts where we’re all ready to travel, that’s what we want to do. We want to see the world, it speaks to us. And we do it at a time where we’re in our healing phases, but it’s like we’re still searching for something. So, we’re not really in that space where we’re enjoying the present moment.

Jessica Armstrong (10:42):

And I’ve noticed that as my traveling has evolved over time, like when I think back to the very first times I would travel, it was all about kind of the future. Like, “What is my future going to be like? Where am I going to be? Who am I going to be?” In college, so that was a natural thought at the time.

Jessica Armstrong (11:04):

But it often brought me into this place where I was coming back home and even talking about how I could live in … I’d love to just be back living in Costa Rica or Bali or whatever. And here I am, I’m still missing the point. I’m still not experiencing the moments in time, my present, my home that I’ve created for myself, this cozy place that I’m grateful for. And I’m grateful for all the things.

Jessica Armstrong (11:35):

And trust me, I’ve been traveling to places where there’s been moments where I have in the present so much, it feels crazy, it just feels so good, so blissful. And you are just taking in all of the universe gifts that are surrounding you, like right then and there.

Jessica Armstrong (11:54):

But sometimes it’s the other times and then what I bring back from it. And you realize that there’s something that’s not balancing out, it’s not flowing well. And that’s a lot of that wanting to feel in the flow. So, that feels more safe, but there’s a lot of trust that you have to have in that flow for it to really feel safe.

McKenzie Raymond (12:24):

My gosh, totally. And you reminded me that, again, I feel like so many of these lessons and these growth points come just with time. I wouldn’t be able to see this in the moment, but now, I can see that. I think so often when I would go travel, it’s like really because you use the word “searching.” That’s how it felt.

McKenzie Raymond (12:47):

I was searching. I wasn’t willing to look inward yet. So, I was like, “Okay, I’m going to search. I’m going to find something,” which obviously isn’t true. But what I can recognize now is that those are really some of the times that I think I was actually most disconnected from myself.

McKenzie Raymond (13:05):

Which is really interesting because to me, what traveling does is it kind of pushes me into some discomfort where maybe there’s a language barrier or I’m traveling alone. And so, within that, it almost, now, I can see creating the environment for me to have to use my own intuition.

McKenzie Raymond (13:27):

So, maybe I really can’t use the sign or read the sign. Maybe I can’t even read the sign, but I can tune inward and decide, “Well, is it right or is it left?” And at a time when I was feeling disconnected from myself and kind of searching for who I was outside of myself, like in all of the places I was traveling to, I think that really was my lesson, that I was almost traveling to reconnect to my own intuition to remember that home isn’t anywhere outside of myself, but it is always within me.

McKenzie Raymond (14:00):

I will say, I do think that of course, there are different environments that are going to be more conducive to each of us. And even from an Ayurvedic perspective, depending on your dosha, your environment can definitely impact everything, your entire system.

McKenzie Raymond (14:19):

But I will say that when I moved to Colorado, it felt just so intentional. And almost after living in Colorado for some time, I think that Colorado almost became part of my identity. It felt like I was from Colorado, and now, last year I moved to Georgia.

McKenzie Raymond (14:42):

And I think that I kind of had to build up this stable, sturdy foundation within myself and do some of this deeper inner work to be able to be in a environment that now I’m surprised is quite conducive for my growth and my learning. But I think there were definitely some judgments or projections I had on the south.

McKenzie Raymond (15:07):

And so, instead just being present here and really, it feels like this experiment that I’m doing with myself, because I’m like, “Okay, how true to myself can I be in an environment that maybe is asking me to not be this way?”

McKenzie Raymond (15:23):

I will say Athens, in general, is really open to spirituality and reiki, but the town that we’re living in, in Georgia, it’s a whole nother story. And there is just a lot more religious influence. And so, I think, yeah, just like being in a place that maybe doesn’t feel quite as conducive to my growth or might thriving, it’s almost like this experiment of just how true to myself, how at home can I stay right here and who I am, and just kind of bring this to this new environment.

Jessica Armstrong (15:57):

I love that. I love that so much. And from somebody who’s seen you grow in Georgia and actually has experienced the family and the home really that you’ve created there for yourself too, I definitely want to acknowledge you for that.

Jessica Armstrong (16:16):

But the way, even you put it, it’s like this idea that when we’re really connected and we’re really at home with ourselves, we’re kind of above this idea of what society’s created and the different people we’re going to run into from a day-to-day basis, or the different tasks we’re going to do each day, or things like that.

Jessica Armstrong (16:45):

We’re really living from a space of fulfillment and purpose and kindness and love, and even compassion. And that’s what we’re going to decide to navigate within ourselves and around us. And by taking that time to round yourself in these spaces and take in kind of the reality of everything that’s around you and where you are and how you want to feel in that space, regardless of what that looks like, I think it’s taking that time to really get to know yourself in that space, which I feel like you have really done and you’ve really worked to find where you can feel the most joy in your new space as well.

Jessica Armstrong (17:41):

And it’s because we are listening more, we’re connected more to our intuition. And where I am, it’s a small town. There’s not a lot of things to do, which is hard for me. Somebody who wants to connect and have activities that I can participate in. And that’s been really rough for me here, and the winters are long, and everything like that. And yeah, you do … I’ve been able to learn a lot of that from you as well.

Jessica Armstrong (18:13):

I’ve been here for three, almost four years now, and up in this part of Colorado, in this home. And I still find myself looking for more connection here or more things like that. But it is having to find what I can do here that aligns with myself and my vision, and how can I maybe create it for myself?

Jessica Armstrong (18:43):

What can I do to create the connections? How can I create a space for other people to come and meet me and we can do fun things together, stuff like that. But that’s kind of that next layer I feel like that we have to process through everything of course — the loss of having to move, the loss of what’s behind, adjusting, having to release those societal layers that have put upon us, and then just taking that, going to that next level of how can I find my joy here and stay in that flow.

[Music Playing]

Jessica Armstrong (19:24):

Before you continue on with that thought, I’d love to take a moment to talk to you about the bliss-inducing elixir that we’ve both become quite familiar with. I’m talking about the heart-opening drink, cacao.

McKenzie Raymond (19:39):

Yes, my love cacao. Cacao is a superfood and also the purest form of chocolate. The ceremonial drink has been used by Mesoamerican civilizations in sacred ceremony for thousands of years. In fact, cacao is considered to be of divine origin. And the cacao tree was often revered as a conduit between heaven and earth.

Jessica Armstrong (20:02):

In addition to the spiritual significance of cacao, it contains many healing properties that provide feelings of stimulation and joy.

McKenzie Raymond (20:10):

While SoulLift Cacao provides a variety of direct trade cacao products, I’m biased towards heart of the earth blend because during my time in Lake Atitlan in Guatemala, I had the privilege of visiting this incredible women’s collective and feeling the love that is infused from bean to block.

Jessica Armstrong (20:28):

I know you’ve used cacao, mostly ceremonial, and I enjoy using cacao even to supplement my caffeine intake. Not only does cacao provide me with a more grounded stimulation, but I love knowing that my purchase is going directly towards supporting indigenous communities.

McKenzie Raymond (20:45):

Use the link in our show notes to purchase your own ceremonial-grade cacao today. Be sure to use our code Good Enough at checkout to support the show and receive a discount. Stay tuned for opportunities to indulge in this incredible medicine collectively with our virtual cacao ceremonies coming soon.

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McKenzie Raymond (21:06):

And community is such a huge part of feeling at home and safe, and being able to feel like we can each be vulnerable. And I think honestly, it wasn’t until you were just acknowledging me, which thank you, I will fully receive that.

McKenzie Raymond (21:24):

But it really wasn’t until you just did that, that I honestly connected more of the dots, because I realized that when I moved to Athens, there were so many people back in Colorado or just in my life in general, who would ask me, “So, do you have the studio set up where you’re working?”

McKenzie Raymond (21:41):

Asking me kind of these next step questions of what I should be doing in their eyes? And I said, “No, I’m just going to arrive,” and I’m such a feelings person. I knew that the right studio or the right people, I wasn’t going to be able to tell from a website anyway. I could do all the research in the world and I needed to just be there with myself wherever I was at in that moment.

McKenzie Raymond (22:09):

And what you really helped me to connect the dots with, is that I said, it wasn’t until like it was that feeling of searching, searching, searching. And then it was a slowing down that I really was able to even start to tune inward.

McKenzie Raymond (22:25):

And I recognized, so a huge intention of mine when I made this move from Colorado to Georgia was to not jump in to anything because I wanted to be really intentional.

McKenzie Raymond (22:36):

So, I took from October until January, which was … I cannot tell you, it felt like the longest time in my life to check out different studios, meet different people, figure out how and where do I feel most like myself. Like you were saying, feel most fulfilled.

McKenzie Raymond (22:58):

And I’m so, so glad that I took that time because you can feel that I really have created and found this incredible family, this community that in some ways, I think is just even better than anything I could have imagined. And so, really, the juicy part of that is that it happened in the slowing down.

McKenzie Raymond (23:22):

I wouldn’t have been able to find my community had I been like, “Yep, it’s just about how many yoga classes am I going to be teaching a week?” And I think that energy, to me, feels like it’s coming more from this place of fear and lack of like, “Oh, I need to line up a job.”

McKenzie Raymond (23:40):

And it’s coming more from that place versus the place where I was coming from, which is like, “This is going to be my family and my community. So, I don’t want to just jump into the first opportunity.”

Jessica Armstrong (23:51):

And I think it’s a want that a lot of us have and to jump in straight into things. Like my impulses really come in manic waves sometimes. When I’m really excited about something and I’m ready to change my world because I just learned something new about myself.

Jessica Armstrong (24:15):

And usually, after I have kind of these transformative moments or transformative travel times where I know that there’s been a significant shift in my mindset and my belief system and my values, I’ve usually come back and nurtured it in different ways.

Jessica Armstrong (24:36):

And so, when I came back from Bali, which was obviously very transformative for many reasons, but my mindset had really even aligned more with my deepest values that I hadn’t quite opened yet. Or I knew they were there but they hadn’t been fully realized yet.

Jessica Armstrong (24:59):

And so, my version of what you did, that slowing down, I really had to force myself to do when I came back from Bali, and I really did not do anything but focus on my self-care for months when I came back.

Jessica Armstrong (25:23):

Of course, I was there and available for my business and my team, and I was grateful that I had amazing team members and I had put myself in a position where I could take that time because it was something that I needed to even be able to move forward into my next up level of life.

Jessica Armstrong (25:47):

I mean, I’ve now gotten even more in touch with myself. I am even more aligned with my vision of what I want to do, bringing people together and having my passion come to life. And I knew that I really had to spend that time that was really suggested — well, it was recommended that I need to do this from the healer that I got to see with Goddess Retreats and the colonic person — the guy who did my colonic, he was full of wisdom. I cannot tell you how grateful I am for that man.

Jessica Armstrong (26:29):

But from what they prescribed for me, their life wisdom that they shared, I came back so full of this new, enlightened information that my want was to rush forward and just really take on all these things. And then I was like I can’t-

McKenzie Raymond (26:49):

Integrate it.

Jessica Armstrong (26:49):

I was like I can’t, that’s the opposite of what they’re saying that I need to do. And they’re saying slow down, spend some time with yourself. That’s when I started my inner family systems and work, and it’s just been getting better since. But I absolutely needed that time to slow down.

McKenzie Raymond (27:09):

And it reminds me of the conversation we were just having the other day with digestion, and how you have to slow down. It’s like on a physical level, we have to slow down to let our body digest food. But it’s like, okay, when do we create this space for us to digest experiences, emotions?

McKenzie Raymond (27:28):

Because we’re not just digesting food, it’s like we’re digesting everything. This incredible transformative moment. I mean, all of these incredible transformative moments that you just had and the perspective that you’ve described in having this experience while you’re away.

Jessica Armstrong (27:49):

Girl, that digested moment. Oh, I love that so much. Oh, my gosh, you just opened a whole new thing. I love that so much.

McKenzie Raymond (27:58):

Yay. And I also want to acknowledge you for how you did integrate and take this advice from the healers, your prescription, which was to slow down.

McKenzie Raymond (28:16):

And I think it’s something to highlight too, like one of my favorite things to do if I am traveling, let’s say, especially if I’m traveling for the holidays, because I feel like that’s shaking up my normal routine. I love to find something that I might do at home.

McKenzie Raymond (28:32):

So, if it is a yoga class or I love to do my morning workout, so even find a gym that I can go use for a day or two while I’m home. I think that can just feel so good to feel like I’m still honoring who I am away from this place that I’m in now.

McKenzie Raymond (28:52):

I think the power of laying down on the floor, especially once I’ve arrived, it’s something that we do at the start of all of our retreats on arrival day at the end, usually we have an evening yoga class that’s restorative and it’s basically everyone arriving, quite literally laying on the floor, allowing yourself to fully arrive and pause and slow down, and let for the integration of whatever has just happened to kind of settle.

McKenzie Raymond (29:26):

But I know for myself, laying down anywhere my family’s floor, my family’s home just on the floor in the bedroom once I’ve arrived, or at a friend’s house. Like just doing that for myself, taking a couple minutes, it can feel so good.

Jessica Armstrong (29:44):

I always feel like I want a nap when I arrive places, always. I’m always ready for a nap. It kind of brings that into perspective. Because I’m realizing that I’m like thinking back of … because when you were talking about laying on the floor, I was just thinking about how … oh, laying in the guest bedroom, just laying in the bed and I was like, “Man, I do that every time I get somewhere.”

Jessica Armstrong (30:09):

I’ll even especially if it’s somebody that I’m comfortable with too, I’ll just be like, “Hey, thank you for showing me the room. I’m going to get settled and be in here for like an hour. I will come out and I want to be fully present for you, but I have to sleep off the travel or readjust myself into this new space.”

McKenzie Raymond (30:32):

My gosh, totally. And then, I mean I do feel like that is kind of this gift in a way that you’re giving to you and your host because then you are able to show up more present in the moment when you do emerge from the room and you’re refreshed and present.

Jessica Armstrong (30:47):

Totally.

McKenzie Raymond (30:48):

I think too, just even, I mean spending any time in nature, even if it’s not a walk, but putting … I like to take my socks off and put my feet in the grass. Make sure your feet are touching the earth and wherever you are.

Jessica Armstrong (31:06):

That’s like called something, I think it’s like footing or something. There’s a documentary about it where-

McKenzie Raymond (31:14):

Of course, there is.

Jessica Armstrong (31:16):

It’s about literally, getting your bare feet on the ground and walking the ground. I imagine there’s more to it. I haven’t watched the documentary, I just saw it on Netflix.

McKenzie Raymond (31:30):

It’s so funny.

Jessica Armstrong (31:31):

Like the clip and I was like, yeah, it actually has a name. I wish I had that. I think it’s like footing or feeting or something, but that’s-

McKenzie Raymond (31:40):

My gosh, that’s awesome.

Jessica Armstrong (31:41):

But it’s all about grounding. That is what it is about is a hundred percent is grounding yourself and inflammation, getting rid of inflammation, that was the extra part of it, yeah.

McKenzie Raymond (31:52):

Okay. That’s interesting. It makes me think of only my mom would have these flip flops, but she has these flip flops that have little copper pieces on the toes because copper’s a conductor. And so, it’s supposed to be for each of your toes that you’re really grounding into the earth, but then basically, you’re pulling that energy up through your feet, which I do a lot.

McKenzie Raymond (32:15):

I cue that a lot. Energetically, draw energy up from the earth in yoga. But it’s like more of that on a physical level, which is kind of cool. I mean, even just like … it just made me think of drawing energy up into your legs. I mean, just standing or I know when we were climbing that mountain last September, oh my gosh, I was imagining that earth energy just charging my body every step. I was just imagining it energizing me and making the weight of my backpack lighter.

Jessica Armstrong (32:53):

That was definitely a hike that we had to really connect with the journey. Because we were in it together and we were going to finish, and it was going to be amazing. And that’s what really got us through that too. I loved it. Even though that was probably one of the hardest I’ve done, especially with the backpacking aspect of it.

McKenzie Raymond (33:19):

And then, I mean the hike down to me, I was like, “There’s no way we’re at the bottom. There’s no way.” I’m like, “No, it was way too fast.” But yeah, I think just some of the grounding practices are quite simple, like laying on the ground or taking a nap or putting your feet in the earth.

McKenzie Raymond (33:39):

Even finding, like I’ll find a cute coffee shop or something if I can, in the area where maybe-

Jessica Armstrong (33:47):

I love doing that.

McKenzie Raymond (33:47):

What I need is to create a little space, and so if I have another place to go where I can feel at home, that always feels really good too.

Jessica Armstrong (33:56):

Oh, I love that. That’s a great suggestion too. Because I like to do that as well. I almost want to know almost immediately like we’re the closest coffee shop or someplace where I can go and chill with like Wi-Fi if I need to, or if I need time for myself.

Jessica Armstrong (34:13):

I think that’s a really good point too, is that sometimes, all we need is just a moment to be away from maybe the chaotic energy that’s happening or the triggers that we’re feeling. We just need to find maybe a separate safe space to reconnect to our flow.

Jessica Armstrong (34:32):

Because even when we’re in our best, at our best in our flow, you never know what could maybe get it to where you’re starting to feel triggered or getting out of that space. But trusting that you know that you’re going to be able to get yourself back there. You just need to walk away for a moment, go to the coffee shop, maybe scanning your body and breathing, that’s always a good one.

Jessica Armstrong (34:59):

I like scanning my body. It’s been something I’ve gotten really used to because of the types of healing I do for sure. But it’s also just a great way to talk to yourself, like you’re listening and then showing yourself compassion and gratitude. It just gives you that moment to really look inward. Because you can feel your body, it’s your cue to things that are going on.

[Music Playing]

Jessica Armstrong (35:29):

We must take a brief pause to let you in on a very special gift. We are partnering with Goddess Retreats to bring you an exclusive offer, because well, you deserve it.

McKenzie Raymond (35:41):

Yes. Retreating is so powerful. I love gaining perspective as I take time away from the rhythm of my daily life to be present and intentional around my healing. I find that I always come home with a renewed commitment to my self-care.

Jessica Armstrong (35:56):

Yes. My time in Ubud, Bali with Goddess Retreats was powerfully transformative, and it has provided me with a lifetime of goodness. I was able to reconnect to my own wisdom and self-love through guided temple walks, sound bathing, and so much more, as well as a forever sisterhood.

Jessica Armstrong (36:14):

The awe-inspiring sanctuary and the incredible hosts give you permission to receive the spiritual giving nature of Bali and its people.

McKenzie Raymond (36:24):

Goddess Retreats is not just about recognizing our strengths as women, but also about healing, self-discovery and growth. That’s why we wanted to collaborate with them in hopes of seeing you have your own transformative experience.

Jessica Armstrong (36:38):

Visit goddessretreats.com to plan your trip. Mention “You Are a Good Enough Goddess” during booking and get $100 off the retreat package that aligns best with you. You’ll also be able to find this link in the show notes as well as at thegoodenoughpodcast.com.

McKenzie Raymond (36:55):

Who knows, maybe we’ll see you there.

[Music Playing]

McKenzie Raymond (36:56):

I’m realizing how much my journey of feeling at home within myself is really tied to my daily practices, like a body scan. So, checking in, like that can be just a split second, that can be a moment. I think also recognizing when I was in environments that maybe were feeling like they weren’t conducive to my thriving.

McKenzie Raymond (37:28):

So, after I would come back from this beautiful tropical trip to Costa Rica, and I’m driving in the snow, just like why did I choose this? Trying to find little things like I know in that little mountain town, it can be hard to find even groceries sometimes, but I would always be on the lookout for dragon fruit or acai, like something that would almost just remind me of it.

McKenzie Raymond (37:54):

I know sometimes you can even find plantains, but just like have a little night and like dedicate it, make little gallo pinto or just try and incorporate dragon fruit into my smoothie every day, because it brings me joy and it makes me feel like I’m in Costa Rica.

Jessica Armstrong (38:12):

I was going to say natural fruit smoothies are always what I start doing once I get back from Mexico or Costa Rica. Dragon fruit is like a whole new love for me because of these places.

McKenzie Raymond (38:27):

I’m so obsessed. When I go to the store, I just buy so many because they have it here. I’ve never seen it before. And they’re these little dragon fruit chunks and they’re pretty cheap. So, I will buy like six of them because I’m just — then I’m set like for more than a week. And yeah, it makes me happy. It’s just like my insides can feel like they’re still getting that fresh dragon fruit.

Jessica Armstrong (38:53):

Such a gift to yourself and your parts that remember all of that. It brings those endorphins back. Those ones that we created, we have from memories when … lighting those up instead of the negative ones that might be around.

McKenzie Raymond (39:12):

Exactly. Yeah. And like my insides don’t know where we are, so they may as well just believe we’re really eating dragon fruit and just in some tropical place. I’ve gotten super into juicy recently too, and I feel like anytime that I’m really mindful about what I’m putting into my body, I just feel so much more comfortable and at home.

McKenzie Raymond (39:36):

So, like taking a pre and probiotic or a multivitamin, just these things, like I was saying, they seem kind of minor, but I feel like in the long run, they really do help to build that stable sturdy foundation.

Jessica Armstrong (39:51):

It’s like the nourishing feels very trusting. So, your body is like, “Oh, my gosh, thank you so much for nurturing me.” It’s kind of like when we’re doing our creativity and we’re nurturing that, or our play and we’re nurturing our inner child, all of these things, our body’s like, “Thank you so much for doing that.”

Jessica Armstrong (40:18):

It trusts you. You’re the self. This is your tribe and it’s your way of showing them that you’re listening and that you love them, and that you want to nourish them because you want them to thrive. And then they’re just so thankful. So, it’s really building that inside energy.

Jessica Armstrong (40:40):

What I’ve noticed most from that practice is that when I do feel triggered or I feel hurt, instead of going to this space of franticness or survival mode, that normal pattern, I am able to be like, “Hey, I can feel that you’re feeling hurt or scared or embarrassed, or not enough right now, but I’m telling you I’m here and we are.”

Jessica Armstrong (41:16):

And just being able to have that conversation with yourself, like for me, has done wonders for my groundedness and my ability to feel at home. There’s all kinds of parts and things that we always want to work on, but that for me, has really helped me feel calm and feel grounded and feel trusting in myself and in my body, regardless of what situation I may end up in.

Jessica Armstrong (41:48):

But I also can listen even more now and make decisions that may not have felt okay back in the day, but now, are really just something I need to do for myself. Like changing up, finding new traditions, whether that’s spending time with others that you wouldn’t normally, or maybe going to a tropical paradise with your boyfriend instead of going home for the holidays. Maybe you’d rather just enjoy that time off of work with him, I don’t know.

Jessica Armstrong (42:24):

For me, though, it’s about giving yourself permission like you had mentioned to do what feels right for you and what makes the most sense, but also finding a way that if you do really want to make those trips because it’s important to you as well, or you need to for your children or anything like that — that you can trust that you will be able to provide that safety for yourself where you are.

McKenzie Raymond (42:53):

Oh, yeah. I love the idea of creating new traditions too, because I think that the idea of home can be so often tied to other expectations or what comes along with that. And so, I love the idea of creating a completely new tradition or like you said, whether it’s some annual trip that you take or a different type of way to celebrate.

McKenzie Raymond (43:19):

I love that idea and knowing that kind of like how it feels to me is I had this beautiful loving childhood growing up, but had I not, I would still be able to decide kind of how I want to show up moving forward. I think even feeling home, feeling safe, feeling secure, but really does create more space for those other things that you were talking about, like creativity and joy and deservedness. And I wonder too, it almost feels like you can’t have one without the other, though.

McKenzie Raymond (43:59):

Because something like taking a probiotic for myself every day. I’m putting, there’s a little bit of this investment in myself where I’m like, “Okay, I’m worth this probiotic.” And it almost also feels like with a new tradition, to me, it might feel kind of silly because I don’t have a family and I’m not married right now or like whatever comes along with that.

McKenzie Raymond (44:20):

But I think also knowing that I really get to choose and having a night, a gathering where we all drink herbal tea or there’s some new tradition that I can create, and it doesn’t have to be associated to anything in my past or what was important then, it just feels so nourishing because I feel like it’s really this invitation to meet myself right where I am.

McKenzie Raymond (44:44):

Like, yeah, maybe someday, I will find myself in a church singing Silent Night again, but like this year, I want to drink cacao and have a bonfire. But I feel like it’s this invitation to honor like who you are in this present moment. Like to kind of create the environment to be conducive.

Jessica Armstrong (45:08):

It’s like a feminine, divine wildness. I was even thinking of like, yeah, call your friends up and dance around the bonfire, if you want to, if that’s what feels good. I mean, I think that really represents the feminine divine is being able to honor yourself at its — because you’re just enough and you’re magical, and you have all of this choice and truth and intuition just inside of you, ready to take you and guide you wherever you want.

Jessica Armstrong (45:46):

And we to be able to have that, give ourselves permission, give ourselves that honor to make that choice for ourselves, feel so freedom. It feels like freeing, there’s just this freedom about it that we can do that. And it doesn’t have to look like anything.

Jessica Armstrong (46:09):

And it also can be traditional, anything that feels good for you and for your situation. And it can look however you want it to look. And it’s beautiful that we can do that for ourselves.

McKenzie Raymond (46:26):

And I think remembering, for me myself, remembering regardless of how it looks, it’s enough. As long as it’s really nourishing me and my soul at this deep level, remembering that just what it looks like to others or other people’s understanding, again, just not really trying to get too caught up in that societal pressure.

McKenzie Raymond (46:49):

But I like to also try and remind myself that when I do stand in a different light, when I am open to going against the grain, I am also showing other people that they can do that too. And that takes a lot of courage to be that person who’s willing to do it different.

McKenzie Raymond (47:09):

But I like to remind myself too, when it feels a little awkward or I feel a little clumsy about it still, I’m like, okay, well, like it feels like I’m doing it to also kind of be evidence for other people and what’s possible.

Jessica Armstrong (47:24):

And a lot of times when I feel awkward, I try to remind myself like everybody else probably feels a little awkward too. So, maybe if I know that I can bring myself back to a calm space and typically, that will help everybody if we can … the more I can do that for myself, I can share that with everybody in the room.

Jessica Armstrong (47:49):

The societal thing that kind of made me think of a good example was the Christmas tree. So, I haven’t had a Christmas tree up since I think the first year we moved into this house, because for me, it’s such a hassle, and I hate seeing the dead.

McKenzie Raymond (48:11):

We’re getting really controversial today on this podcast.

Jessica Armstrong (48:16):

I love Christmas and I love Christmas trees, don’t get me wrong. I just personally handle the hassle of the Christmas tree. And we don’t have any plans for anybody to come by and see the tree. We usually give each other gifts beforehand.

Jessica Armstrong (48:36):

And then we have two cats and our youngest, I can’t even imagine what it’d be like having a tree in the house with her. So, for me, I’m having to decide again to not go with the Christmas tree, but it’s really because that’s what’s going to bring me peace of mind.

Jessica Armstrong (48:58):

But I know that when I mention that to people, like sometimes I say, “Oh, I’m just not getting a tree.” It’s usually after people are telling me how big of a struggle it is to get the tree and put it up and all of this stuff. And I’m like, “Oh, I’m just not even getting a tree.”

Jessica Armstrong (49:13):

And it’s like shocked. Like they’re shocked. Eventually, like once I tell them, like it’s just not for me, they understand. But like you just explain how hard it is. What if you just didn’t do it one year?

McKenzie Raymond (49:28):

It’s like they forgot that they even had a choice in the matter. It’s like by you saying that, I feel like their jaw is dropping not only for you being the evidence that, “Oh, my God, this really is possible.” But also, it’s almost like they’re reliving their pain all over again. They’re like, “Oh, shit maybe I don’t have to be doing this.”

Jessica Armstrong (49:50):

Could I not do a tree this year? That could be an option. I don’t know but no.

McKenzie Raymond (49:55):

I mean, I think that’s such a great representation and around, I mean anytime, but especially around the holidays, like what a great opportunity to check in and be able to ask, like you said, “What makes me happy? What brings me joy? Like is it the tree?” No. You have all the reasons why it would not make sense for you and your little cat fur babies.

McKenzie Raymond (50:19):

And so, I think that’s just such a great reminder that we can do that and just check in and be like, “What feels best for me? What would make me feel most at home? Or festive? Or celebratory when it’s not the tree.”

Jessica Armstrong (50:35):

I plan to ask my mother-in-law for a Christmas sweater for my cat, so-

McKenzie Raymond (50:43):

My God, yes, I love that thought.

Jessica Armstrong (50:47):

I just think she would love to. I would just love that so much. That to me is everything.

McKenzie Raymond (50:53):

So, worth it.

Jessica Armstrong (50:53):

Compared to, you know.

McKenzie Raymond (50:56):

I don’t know why, but I’m just imagining these little festive puff balls dangling off of the sweater, and then the other cat like playing with it.

Jessica Armstrong (51:05):

Oh, my God. That’s such a good idea. Oh, my God, McKenzie, you’ve just saved us. So, it’s a whole new toy, it’s going to be amazing.

McKenzie Raymond (51:15):

I know. If it doesn’t already exist, it definitely needs to.

Jessica Armstrong (51:19):

I’ll make sure once we get this sweater to share her in it.

McKenzie Raymond (51:24):

Please send us a video, please. We all deserve that. I wanted to just circle back to one thing that you mentioned, which was when you feel like you’re really in that fight or flight, because I think that is the challenge with feeling ungrounded. It’s been that instinct that kicks in.

McKenzie Raymond (51:47):

And so, for me, when I’m feeling that way, a couple deep breaths, which you had mentioned, a body scan if you even have the space for that. One of my favorite mantras that I say so often to myself is, “I am here, I am whole, I am safe.” And it brings me right back.

McKenzie Raymond (52:10):

The “I am whole part” for some reason just feels like I’m claiming enough in that moment as well. And so, yeah, “I’m here, I’m whole, I’m safe,” that is always available and it’s totally free, and you can just, I don’t know, try it on and let me know what you think.

McKenzie Raymond (52:27):

It’s honestly become second nature at this point when I feel that panicky feeling. My breath is getting short, I’m feeling like maybe something just happened, and immediately I go into where can I go? Can I escape to that coffee shop? I’m going to spend hours there because I don’t even want to be here now.

Jessica Armstrong (52:49):

And you got to put out the fire immediately. You don’t want to deal with it right then.

McKenzie Raymond (52:55):

And if I even just take a minute and take a few breaths and tell myself that, and then I’m like, “What do I actually want?” I want a long, productive day, probably at my desk. I probably don’t want to be in a coffee shop all day, which is usually more distracting to me.

McKenzie Raymond (53:11):

But that’s that fight or flight. So, yeah, “I’m here, I’m home, I’m safe” just helps bring me back and also brings me great perspective in those moments when I’m feeling quite lighty.

Jessica Armstrong (53:22):

I love that too, because I had a similar example of what I do with that need to escape the uncomfortableness. And mine is to reach for my phone. Like if my brain starts going off on something that I do not want to face or I feel like, “Oh, my God, this is going to be too much,” I immediately reach for my phone. I need to scroll or something. I need something else to focus on immediately.

Jessica Armstrong (53:52):

And what I realized is that causes me so much more angst, and then that stuff doesn’t ever get processed, and it doesn’t ever go away, so it just will find another time, like 3:00 AM in the morning to visit me. So, what I’ve found is really what I feel myself getting worked up is to have compassion for myself, like I would have compassion for somebody else going through it.

Jessica Armstrong (54:20):

Like just be like, “Hey, I’m here, I love you.” Like really kind of the same what you were saying, “I’m whole …” It’s really showing yourself compassion, being gentle around the fact that these are just thoughts, these are some old patterns, some old layers coming up, and that they’re not here to harm you. And just to have compassion around the fact that you’re going through that right now.

Jessica Armstrong (54:49):

And then yeah, taking that breath and really just giving it a moment. Because I think it really does end up subsiding if you just kind of acknowledge it and you don’t really even have to do anything other than that with it.

Jessica Armstrong (55:07):

You’re not judging, you’re acknowledging that it’s there. If it’s something important, maybe it’s there because … and it keeps showing up, maybe it’s something that you do need to address. But even if it’s at a moment where you can’t, yeah, really just being gentle with yourself, forgiving yourself for having these negative thoughts or any of that stuff that’s coming up.

Jessica Armstrong (55:31):

Because ultimately, all of that is there to protect you in some way. The same way that you’re having that flight mode where you want to pick up your phone or it’s the same thing. And I think, yeah, it’s really just getting back into yourself and reminding that you’re whole and you’re safe.

McKenzie Raymond (55:57):

That compassion piece, it’s so life-changing. And again, another similarity in what you said was it’s a slowing down. It’s having to pause and really bring some acceptance and compassion like I would to someone else or a small child to myself.

McKenzie Raymond (56:16):

But it’s like, “I can’t bring compassion to myself if I’m already on my way to the coffee shop, I’m so spiraled.” Or like you, you’re already who knows how deep in the internet you are by that time. Like you pick up your phone, it’s like immediately you’re just drawn right in. And so, yeah, it’s pausing that breath and the compassion I think is so important.

McKenzie Raymond (56:40):

Well, I feel so fulfilled from our time together today, another beautiful conversation. Is there anything else that you want to add to this amazing conversation that we’ve had?

Jessica Armstrong (56:54):

Yeah, I mean, it’s really so important when I think a lot of what we talk about is around getting ourselves more comfortable at home and being able to provide safety for ourselves. We definitely want you to do this, to share our compassion with all of you who are going through the holidays and whatever that looks like, whatever that feels like — it’s a constant reminder from us that we love you. You’re doing enough and you are absolutely worthy and deserving of everything that you choose, that you receive. And we just hope that you enjoy all of it.

McKenzie Raymond (57:40):

Thank you so much for tuning in, and thank you, Jessica for all of your beautiful insights, always.

Jessica Armstrong (57:47):

You too, girl.

McKenzie Raymond (57:48):

Aww, thanks. I know we just get so much from these conversations. And again, I just want to remind everyone, whether you’re going home for the holidays this season, or maybe you’re listening to this episode at another time, there are always ways to feel more connected and grounded within yourself and within your environment.

McKenzie Raymond (58:10):

And we hope that this episode just helped you to feel a bit more connected and at home in yourself right where you are. Wherever you are is perfect and it’s enough and we love you so much.

Jessica Armstrong (58:22):

Thank you.

[Music Playing]

McKenzie Raymond (58:26):

We know this time is precious to you, and because we are insanely joyful that you are spending it with us, we always want to deliver authentic vulnerability, and dive deep into what we are feeling as a collective.

Jessica Armstrong (58:39):

Our intention is to bring you stories and guests that provide you the opportunity to discover aha moments, so you leave our conversations feeling lighter and knowing what you do today will be good enough.

McKenzie Raymond (58:52):

We love to connect. Follow us on social media by following our handles linked in the show notes. If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, rate, review, and follow The Good Enough Podcast on Spotify, Apple Music, or your favorite podcast listening app, so you never miss an episode.